Little Ms. Bossy

Happy Superbowl weekend!

2012-02-03T16:49:00.000-05:00

What do you have going on this weekend? Will you be watching the game? No football for me. I'm leaving for New York for 6 weeks (I can't get enough Don Giovanni) on Sunday, so CM and I are cramming in some together time tomorrow. We're going to go test-drive a Fiat 500 (the perfect second car to our SUV, don't you think?), and then have a proper date night—dinner at a restaurant we've been wanting to try that serves Italian small plates, and maybe a movie! It's going to be hard to say goodbye.

While I'm gazing lovingly into my husband's eyes, I'll leave you with these links:

After reading about my dolphin love, the Airstream Diva sent me this video. GAH! I cannot imagine anything better.

We've been looking for CD storage that is not the IKEA Benno shelves for our ridiculous opera recording collection. I don't think CM will go for it, but how fun is this?

Read this. It's fantastic.

CM took a new headshot of me the other day. You can see it here. (I'm pretty sure they call that "burying the lead.")

I'm wishing for this to continue my meat-braising experiments. You can brown the meat in there, too! Sadly, I think I have to hold myself back from buying more kitchen appliances (last month I bought a juicer AND a food processor).

Look at this pretty girl (photo taken by CM):

Hope your weekend is filled with friends, celebration, and lots and lots of fried food! xoxo LMB

The one that got away

2012-02-01T16:48:00.000-05:00

Four days ago I spent 40 minutes hanging out in a pool with a dolphin named Olympia. I petted her slick rubbery skin. I waved at her and she waved back. She kissed me on the cheek and I kissed her on the mouth—that's just how I roll.

We danced and then I grabbed her fins and she took me for a ride and I could feel her slippery smooth belly underneath me as the salt water splashed into my eyes. When we said goodbye she dove under the water and waved her tail at me.

It was exactly how awesome I thought it would be. That never happens.

~~9. Swim with dolphins.~~

Cruise shots

2012-01-31T00:01:00.000-05:00

We arrived back on dry land this morning, and I'm still processing our vacation (such fun!). The day has gotten away from me slightly, but here's a little sneak peek at some of my pictures from the trip. To see them larger, click on any picture.

More to come, I promise. Hope your week is off to a good start!

All photos by me except the dolphin shots, which we paid an exorbitant price to use however we choose.

Happy weekend!

2012-01-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

My lovelies, what are your plans for the weekend? Can you believe we've already gotten through the first month of 2012? It's going so fast! I'm currently having a "Fun Day at Sea," but I couldn't leave you without some link love for your weekend:

I'm enjoying Ingrid Michaelson's new album.

This is truly horrifying.

Our wedding was featured on another German wedding blog! The Germans are particularly fascinated that I didn't carry a bouquet—shocking!

One of these days I'll get some things up on the walls of our house. This is inspirational.

Currently obsessed with this chair. I've even ordered fabric swatches!

And a gratuitous picture of my adorable Bossy Cat:

Hope your weekend is full of adventure, sunshine, and all-you-can-eat buffets! xoxo LMB

Mostly I'm excited for the towel animals

2012-01-25T23:07:00.000-05:00

Friends, how is winter treating you? Is it cold where you are? Did you have to scrape ice off your windshield this morning? Are you bundled up in coats and scarves whenever you leave the house? Did you run a half-marathon in 20° icy conditions this weekend, like My Gay Husband did?

Probably the last thing you want to hear about is the cruise I'm going on tomorrow, sorry. But I'm going on a cruise! Tomorrow! Legs McGee and I are setting sail for warmer climes, and by the time we get back Monday morning I intend to be freckled and thoroughly relaxed.

Having never been on a cruise, I have very little idea what to expect, but a short trip out of Galveston with a guaranteed fun companion seems like the perfect way to cruise for the first time. I can't wait to tell you all about it when I get back.

In the meantime, stay warm wherever you are! And if you've got any, send me tips for making the most of life onboard the ship!

#12. Check.

2012-01-23T18:26:00.000-05:00

I do not like crowds, so I do my best to avoid them. When forced to be in a large group of people, I am overly fond of mumbling "I hate people" under my breath and not making eye contact. I would rather eat glass than be in Times Square on New Year's Eve. Or any other day, for that matter.

Also, I don't like being uncomfortable. I get cold easily, and I don't like being cold. Or being hot. Or getting wet.

And yet.

Saturday morning at 8:00 when the starter pistol fired at my very first 5K race, as I surged forward in the humid mist, surrounded by several thousand other runners in close proximity, I felt exhilarated more than anything. CM was at my side (Legs McGee sprinted on ahead—she is speedy), and even though I was nervous I knew I was ready. So we ran the race, and finished it. I had only one near-meltdown close to the finish line (note to self: look at the course before the race so you know what to expect). My time was a respectable 30:11. And even though the weather was turning me into a sweaty mess (see below), and the fast people were pushing by me, and the slow(er) people were getting in my way, I enjoyed myself. Enough to want to do it again, even. So this morning CM and I started training to run 10K, something I could not have imagined only a couple months ago.

I will say, though, that even without that race-inspired adrenaline rush, for my money there is no better way to run than just the two of us, on our neighborhood path, on a crisp 60° morning.

I think I'll keep doing that.

~~12. Run a race. Finish it.~~

Happy weekend!

2012-01-20T13:23:00.001-05:00

My dears, what fantastic things do you have planned for the weekend? Lazy days in pjs? Productive errand-running? My weekend is jam-packed: my very first 5K race tomorrow morning(!), the HD broadcast of Enchanted Island (I'll be at my local movie theatre eating popcorn), and crossing off another Bossy List item (more to come on that). CM doesn't get a free day this week, but I'm in denial about that and making lots of plans anyway.

Some linky goodness for your Friday:

Do you think my wardrobe could handle another bicycle dress? Bear in mind that I do not currently own a bicycle.

Preach.

I'm trying not to get overexcited about this. I am failing.

This makes me proud of my adopted hometown.

This book arrived today. Can't wait to start cooking from it!

Look at this pretty girl. Not sure why I would ever leave the house.

Hope your weekend is full of new challenges, dinner parties, and belly laughs! xoxo LMB

Real Housewife of Houston

2012-01-18T23:33:00.000-05:00

At this point it seems crazy that I worried about not having enough to do while I was here, that the time would be too long. I'm fully ensconced in our at-home routine now, and I can't believe it's only a couple weeks until I have to leave again. What exactly have I been doing with my time, you ask? How have I been housewifeing it up? Here's how.

Making a concerted effort to see all 25 of Entertainment Weekly's 25 Movies You Need to See Before Oscar Night. Before Oscar night. 12 down...
Fattening up CM's co-workers with baked goods.
Reading in the tub.
Tuesday night tap class (srsly).
Watching any and all BBC crime dramas on instant Netflix. (Luther, anyone?)
Braising meat.
Obsessing over jobs for next season.
Snuggling my kitten.
Contemplating hanging things on the walls. Only contemplating, unfortunately.
Zoo dates with my friends' kids.
Honing (get it?) my knife skills.
Racking up morning run mileage (my first race is Saturday!!).

I could get used to this...

Happy MLK Jr Weekend!

2012-01-13T18:28:00.000-05:00

Happy long weekend, folks (well, those of you with normal jobs anyway)! What are you up to? We're having a date night in tonight, one of CM's last free evenings for a long time. I'm cooking and we're going to watch Moneyball. This weekend Houston is hosting the marathon Olympic trials on Saturday, and a friend of ours is running the Houston Marathon on Sunday. I'm hoping to see some of both to get inspired.

While I'm ogling runners, here are some links for your weekend:

In honor of the holiday, check out these gorgeous photos of the new Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial.

We're supposed to be on a diet, but I made these this afternoon. The brown butter makes them taste sort of like caramel. I'll be sending those to work with CM tomorrow—can't keep them in the house!

I'm trying to decide between this and this for our kitchen. I'd hate to be too matchy-matchy with our Eiffel tower.

Any fabulous arts admin types looking for a summer gig? You should be so lucky.

I'm officially a convert to Chrome, and not only because it hasn't mysteriously lost all my bookmarks (I'm looking at you, Firefox). Try it!

This is what's happening at our house, pretty much all the time:

Here's wishing you a weekend full of inspiration, movie nights, and snuggly kitties! xoxo LMB

A little bit of the USA in Vienna

2012-01-12T15:26:00.001-05:00

Our wedding was featured yesterday on a German wedding blog. It's making me think about our beautiful wedding day, just over 6 months ago.

Happiness.

Photo by the fabulous Pink Pixel

Happy weekend!

2012-01-06T18:34:00.000-05:00

Friends, what are you up to on this first weekend of the year? CameraMan is going out of town for work, so the Bossy Cat and I will be on our own to entertain ourselves. I'm making plans: a dinner party tonight, some quality Shelby time tomorrow (she'll be 3 this year!), and a 30-minute run on Sunday (without CM—we'll see how that goes).

Some links for your Friday:

The Bossy Folks introduced me to this. If you come to our house any time in the next month, we will probably make you watch it.

I love this! So true—#24 especially made me laugh. (via @rahree)

Now that I'm running, I can eat whatever I want, right? Well, I want this.

Because I wasn't missing Vienna enough. Thanks a lot, NY Times.

I wish these people were our friends.

I took this picture at the zoo this week:

Remind you of anyone??

Here's hoping your weekend is full of sunshine, clementines, and cashmere! xoxo LMB

Photos by LMB

Channel your inner dog

2012-01-04T18:07:00.001-05:00

For the past few weeks CM and I have been running 4 days a week. We're in the final week of a Couch to 5K type training plan (shhh…don't tell CM it's from Women's Health), so by Sunday we should be able to run 30 minutes at a time. It's been ages since I stuck to an exercise routine of any kind for this long, and I've surprised myself by how much I'm enjoying it.

In the past when I've spent any time running I've either done it on a treadmill while watching TV or outside while listening to some kind of upbeat iPod mix. My goal has always been to distract myself and to drown out the constant voice in my head telling me how easy it would be just to stop running. Not this time. CM and I run together, outside (there's an incredible path right around the corner from our house), without music. Aside from the occasional chitchat, we hear nothing but the soothing Nike+ updates every 5 minutes.

It's unexpectedly peaceful, actually. Turns out, running is easier for me without all those distractions. I feel much more in tune with my body and my breathing, and I find that my mind does some automatic problem-solving while I'm running.

Which is not to say that I'm finding it EASY, exactly. As of today, we're up to running 22 minutes without a break, and it's still definitely a challenge for me. Luckily, CM seems to always know exactly when I need a quick "Keep it up!" or "You're doing great!"—it's good to have my own personal cheerleader running next to me.

We're starting to get familiar with the neighborhood dog owners, who besides a few fellow joggers are generally the only other people out on the path at 7:30am. Some are simply walking their dogs, but we've seen several dogs running ahead of their jogging (and in one case rollerblading!) owners. Nobody in the world is as happy as a city-dwelling dog out for a run.

This morning during our warm-up walk, we saw one of these ecstatic running dogs, tongue out, ears flapping. "What we need to do," said CM, "is to channel our inner dog whenever we're feeling grumpy about being out here running."

So my new dog-inspired running mantra goes a little something like this:

I am so LUCKY to be RUNNING outside! I get to RUN today! RUNNING is my favorite thing! I love RUNNING! Look at me RUNNING!

This morning, whenever I felt my energy flagging, I thought of those dogs (or better yet, saw another one) and instantly felt better. Ask me again when I'm attempting longer distances, but for now, it's working. After our 22 minutes were up and we were cooling down with the walk home, CM turned to me and said, "Thank you for taking me on a run today."

I feel like we may have hit upon the meaning of life here. Channel your inner dog, people.

Photo via Pixdaus

What I did last year (when I wasn't watching Downton Abbey)

2012-01-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

As an experiment, in 2011 I tracked (in an Excel spreadsheet) every performance I attended, excepting the ones I worked. I recorded what I saw, where I saw it, and with whom, with a few little notes about cast, director, etc. Which is how I know that in 2011 I saw 16 movies, 4 Broadway plays, 2 orchestra concerts, 5 recitals, 1 jazz concert, 1 ballet performance, and 17 operas. SEVENTEEN OPERAS! Then, because I'm nerdy like that, I had to go back and figure out how many opera performances I attended in the line of duty, and it turns out it's 25. That means that all told I saw 42 opera performances last year. That is a lot of opera, particularly since I (mostly) took the summer off.

I'm back to tracking again this year (with one movie already under my belt). It's an enlightening picture of a year in my life, and I imagine I'll enjoy looking back at it some years from now.

My favorite performances of 2011, in chronological order:

February 4, 2011: Dudamel conducting Mahler 9 with the LA Philharmonic in the Musikverein

April 1, 2011: Jerusalem on Broadway starring the incredible Mark Rylance

May 21, 2011: Bridesmaids with Legs McGee, where we snuck Chick-fil-A into the theater

July 21, 2011: Traviata in the Arena di Verona on the last night of our honeymoon

November 13, 2011: American Ballet Theatre at City Center with The Wise Soprano—the perfect palate cleanser after weeks of Mozart and Handel

November 26, 2011: Satyagraha at the Met (BEST. THING. EVER.) with CM

December 5, 2011: Sleep No More

For 2012: more performances outside of Lincoln Center, more movies by myself, more non-opera date nights with CM. I can't wait.

What have been your recent faves?

Photo by LMB

Buenos dias, 2012!

2012-01-02T19:33:00.001-05:00

Tradition dictates that if we're together on New Year's Eve we stay home, play a drinking game while watching a movie, kiss at midnight, and toast to the year to come. This year we added Mama and Papa Bossy to the mix, but we kept the plan the same, watching Bridesmaids and drinking every time we heard a swear word or the word "wedding." It was a lovely relaxing way to start the new year, surrounded by my loved ones in the house that already feels like home.

It seems I'm constantly making self-improvement plans, vowing to do better and BE better, to live the life I want and enjoy every minute of it. No matter how many times plans fall through and old habits override new efforts, I am ever optimistic about my chances for success.

A friend wrote this a couple of days ago, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, especially this:

"I'm an unabashed believer in the big dream, and I believe not on faith but on evidence. Brothers and sisters, I have seen people reinvent their lives over and over again. People start businesses. People quit drinking. People get married, have children, create art, move to new cities, speak in foreign tongues, and then they throw everything in their life up in the air and try something new. They set their sights on a prize far off, and then they move.And yes, small daily steps are part of that journey. But so are the long vision, the dare, the jump off the cliff into the unknown. And so are failure and disappointment."

How right she is. Let's make some resolutions, shall we, without fear of failure. I've been lucky enough to have 2 amazing years in a row—let this year bring even more joy and fulfillment. And yes, let's identify the practical steps that will help us make our goals, but let's be sure not to lose sight of where those small steps are leading us. So, forthwith, my 2012 New Year's resolutions (and there's nothing small about them):

I resolve to make a true home in Houston.
I mean "home" in every sense of the word. I want to make our house everything we need it to be, warm and peaceful and inviting. I want to find activities and work that will keep me where CM is more of the time. I want to tend to my Houston friendships and make new ones. I want to take full advantage of everything our adopted hometown has to offer.

I resolve to cross off at least 10 Bossy List items.
Because it's fun!

I resolve to ask for what I want in my career.
Let 2012 be the year I stop expecting opportunities to fall in my lap, although it sure is lovely when they do.

I resolve to make my health a priority.
Exercise, vegetables, flossing, etc. I'm in my 30s now—I can't think of a good excuse not to (and believe me, I'm trying).

I resolve to spend my precious free time in ways that make me happy and invigorated.
More exploration, less Hulu.

What's on your big, no-fear list this year? 2012, let's do this.

Adios, 2011!

2011-12-31T16:08:00.000-05:00

Oh, 2011, I wasn't sure that 2010 could be topped, and then you came along. This was a big year, Texas big. Big decisions, big changes, big milestones, big rewards. I'm reflecting on the extraordinary last 12 months of my life, and I'm feeling lucky and grateful to be spending this last day of the year with my CameraMan, the Bossy Folks, and my adorable Bossy Cat here in our home sweet Houston. What a year it has been.

I opened and closed Le Comte Ory, Madame Butterfly, Don Giovanni, and Rodelinda. I can be seen for slightly longer than 5 seconds in an Associated Press video.

I started a 365 project…again. Then I ended it long before the year was up…again.

We settled in to our life in Vienna and found time to travel in Europe: to Florence, to Paris, to the Austrian countryside. We locked love padlocks in Florence and in Paris. We figured out our travel style.

I continued my Home on the Road feature with Elise Sandell and Katharine Goeldner. Then I forgot about it. Perhaps it's time for a revival, no?

I became an aunt to our beautiful niece Josee, which did absolutely nothing to temper the baby kraziness.

I did some wedding planning.

I crossed off exactly ONE item on my Bossy List: #44. Ack!*

Best day of the year/my entire life: we got married. While we made merry with our friends and family, and then without them on our honeymoon, I posted about happy marriages I know.

We moved back to Houston after almost exactly a year in Vienna. We immediately began the Great Acquisition of 2011 (not to be confused with the Great Purge of 2010) and haven't let up since.

I spent 200 days with CM—a big improvement on last year's 165.

I got busy and stopped blogging entirely. I'm thinking about changing that.

If the past two years are any indication, it would be presumptuous on my part to make too many plans for 2012. Anything can happen, and no day is too ordinary to bring life-changing news. I'm staying open to possibilities.

Happy New Year, y'all.

Tschüß, 2010!
Addio, 2009
Adieu, 2008

*UPDATE: CM has pointed out that actually, I should have crossed off #64 quite a while ago, round about the 9th of July, in fact. Need I say more about that?

Home sweet nervous breakdown

2011-12-15T12:58:00.003-05:00

I'm back home in Houston, this time for TWO WHOLE MONTHS. I've been here since Sunday. Predictably, I've already had approximately two and a half nervous breakdowns, of both the "What am I going to do for two whole months?" and the "What am I doing with my life?" varieties. I look forward to vacation time so much, but I always forget that I'm actually not that great at not having a job, particularly when everyone I know (including my hardworking husband) has one they go to every day. I'm thinking maybe I need some similarly unemployed Houstonian friends. Who's with me?

In the meantime, I'm throwing myself into the role of Suzy Homemaker. The other night (and by night I mean ALL DAY LONG), I braised short ribs for the first time. Oh lord, were those good. They were on a bed of creamy goat cheese polenta, accompanied by mustardy brussels sprouts, and followed by homemade nutmeg maple cookies and Nespresso. Trust me, CameraMan is not complaining about me being home.

Our house is finally coming together, and I'm excited to show you some pictures, once we've gotten some art up on the currently completely bare walls. Also, I've only posted half the wedding—there's so much more to show you! I've actually been getting motivated to blog again, but my computer has been killing me softly with his song, a song whose repetitive refrain is "I've lost all your Firefox bookmarks and iTunes purchases—what are you gonna do about it?" I know, I know, #firstworldproblems. Without a job, though, I have a lot of free time and brain space to spend cursing the good people at Apple. Everyone needs a hobby.

In other news, there is lots of fun on the horizon: a trip to Vegas, the Bossy Folks in Houston for a visit, a girls' vacation with Legs McGee, and an exciting contract just arrived yesterday for me to sign. Nervous breakdowns aside, all is well. Let's get to know each other again, shall we?

Hello again

2011-11-22T21:40:00.000-05:00

Soooo...you're not going to facebook OR blog now?!? What - are you trying some pioneer lifestyle? ;-p

I got this text from The Wise Soprano a few weeks back, followed by several concerned emails from other friends. So perhaps I should start by saying, everything's fine. Life is good. It turns out that the day I deactivated my Facebook account coincided with the last post I wrote here, almost 2 months ago, but I hadn't actually thought those events were related. Now I'm not so sure.

My 30th birthday, although it was relatively unaccompanied by angst or crisis of any kind, did bring with it a certain amount of stock-taking. 30, that nice big round number, feels like an arrival, time to know who you are and what you're doing. The big things in my life are right where I want them to be: I've just married a man more perfect for me than any I could imagine, my career is going swimmingly, I'm surrounded by a supportive family and the best friends anyone could ask for. I do worry, though, that the day-to-day is passing me by. When I have downtime, I'm more likely to fritter than to make it count, particularly when I'm away from CameraMan, which has been an awfully long time this fall.

I went off of the 'Book as a month-long experiment. I found myself spending an inordinate number of hours checking in on people I didn't feel particularly close to, and I wondered if I would miss it if I quit cold turkey. Turns out, I didn't, not at all, which is why I didn't reactivate my account after the month was up. I wish I could say that I've devoted the extra time I now have to better keeping in touch with the few people I truly care about, but that's still a work in progress.

The not blogging thing is something I don't understand as clearly. I'm struggling with what this blog means. I'm not an expat anymore. I don't have problems I want to escape. I'm thoroughly content living a life that consists mostly of work and CM, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure I have much to say anymore. Work has been hard these past few months, hard and dramatic and in some ways disappointing, but ultimately I've been reminded that I find great satisfaction in my work. And in an attempt to be kinder to myself, I'm telling myself that it's okay if the most I can accomplish on any given day is going to work, trying to do my job really well, and then telling my husband I love him. I'm giving myself permission to let go of self-improvement projects, to read the books I want to read instead of the ones on someone else's list, to stay up late watching episodes of Downton Abbey just because, to write only if there's something I want to say.

Tonight I felt like writing. Tomorrow I might not. Thanks for being here when I do.

Happy weekend!

2011-10-01T22:10:00.000-04:00

I suppose it's cheating to write the weekend post on Saturday night, but hey, that's when my weekend started. What are you up to on this first weekend of October? I'm having a much-needed night in, ordering in sushi and catching up on all the TV I missed this week. Tomorrow I'm having brunch with My Gay Husband and then trying to make some sense of my life, which falls apart like clockwork every time a production I'm working on hits the stage. Sigh. Thank goodness for the cool weather that arrived today, giving me an excuse to wear cable-knit tights, a red herringbone skirt, and a gray tweed jacket with stripey lining. I love the fall.

Some weekend linky goodness for you (it's been a while, I know, so I'm throwing in a few extra):

I have a new soprano friend who makes finger puppets for opening night gifts. Now she's making videos with them, too. I highly recommend Carmen, Act II.

I'm VERY excited about Mindy Kaling's new book. Did you read the excerpt?

Cookie Monster and Elmo do the fall TV lineup. I particularly like when Elmo looks into the camera during The Office.

Loved this guide to New York City. Since I live here several months of the year, maybe I should read this and go somewhere other than to work. Hmm...

Turned out the stripey rug was WAY too scratchy. Now we're thinking purple!

Scary, but completely true. Uh-oh.

I'm enjoying Whitney much more than I thought I would. Have you watched?

New shoes. I'm wearing them daily to work.

I went home last weekend and we stocked our bar. We are ready to entertain! (The only thing missing is…me.)

Here's hoping your weekend is full of mimosas, buttoned-up jackets, and no work whatsoever. xoxo LMB

This post would have a clever title if "It's a small world" had better lyrics

2011-09-26T20:04:00.000-04:00

I've written before about what a tiny world the field of opera is, how you're constantly seeing all the same people and how everyone's connected by far fewer than six degrees. Now that I've been doing this for a while, I don't even get excited anymore when I meet someone and find that we have people in common. Of course we do.

Lately, though, there have been a series of coincidental connections that qualify as something out of the ordinary, and I'm completely delighted by them.

In a conversation with a colleague, I discovered that he went to graduate school with the very first director I ever worked with, back when I played Molly in Annie, circa 1989.

The director I'm assisting right now arrived at the Met and found out that a member of our Giovanni music staff is actually his neighbor in Cornwall—their properties border each other…and they've never met before.

Last week I was talking to a soprano in our cast, and it turned out our fathers went to music school in Germany together, at a tiny school of 50 students.

Poetic conclusions are begging to be drawn here. Mostly, though, these discoveries just make me want to talk to people more, to take the time to find out where they come from and where they've been. I want to make a collection of these tenuous threads that are holding us together.

What's amazing you these days?

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

2011-09-03T12:50:00.000-04:00

I've emerged from ONE week of labor (ish—it was a prep week!) completely exhausted, so this 3-day weekend is a gift. What are you up to? Barbecues? Squeezing out the last drops of summer? I flew home to Houston last night and I get to stay here until Monday! Happiness. Our lovely friends are throwing us a little wedding celebration tonight. I can't wait to see everyone!

Some links for your holiday:

This slideshow is so beautiful. It's nice to look at pictures of other people's weddings for a change.

We can't seem to find just the right rug for our living room. I've ordered this one. Cross your fingers!

I love these fun coasters for parties! And they're on sale!

Have you noticed that mounted faux animal heads are showing up everywhere? We laugh every time we seem them. I kind of want these for our fridge as an inside joke.

This photo shoot is amazing! It makes me want to buy lots of cozy sweaters (and, you know, go to the gym once in a while).

Hope your weekend is filled with friends, sunshine, and good old-fashioned retail therapy. xoxo LMB

The day after

2011-08-29T17:42:00.000-04:00

So apparently there was some kind of bad weather that came through New York yesterday (YESTERDAY!). Did you hear about that? I know it was lighter than expected and that most of the New Yorkers I know seem to mostly be disappointed, as if they were hoping Irene was going to provide them a great story to tell at parties, and now the story is, "Hey, remember that one time when the subways closed down and we did some day drinking in our pjs while it rained some?"

I'm having a hard time believing it even rained here. I just got in (my flight was even early!), and sprang for a cab from the airport, since trains weren't running and the bus situation was chaotic. Now I'm sitting on a park bench across the street from my apartment, belly full of Shake Shack, waiting for my landlord to meet me in half an hour. The weather is idyllic, the city is alive. It feels like every New Yorker is out walking, and the benches around me are filled with people reading, sketching, journaling, and people watching. And then there's me, mooching off the Museum of Natural History's wifi so that I can blog.

This is New York at its best. I'm remembering why people live here; the energy is infectious. It's decidedly summer, but I can already sense the crisp promise of fall. After the relentless heat and humidity of Houston, I'm going to spend every minute I can outside. Tomorrow I'll walk to work, put in a day of meetings and prep, get a drink with a friend, walk home as the evening air cools. But for tonight I'm on vacation, and New York is an awfully nice place to visit.

Happy hurricane weekend!

2011-08-26T15:54:00.000-04:00

My lovelies, what are your plans for the weekend? Being very safe if you're anywhere in Irene's path, I hope! I was planning to fly to NYC Sunday morning, but I've rebooked for Monday so that Irene and I don't arrive at the same time. Meanwhile, in sunny Houston I'm running lots of last-minute errands, cleaning, and spending as much time with my sweet husband as possible.

Some links to get you through the hunkering down:

What a treat to explore this site! So many fascinating people and projects.

We're in the market for a dining room table with some industrial charm. My current fave is this one.

I cannot WAIT to see this movie.

I just bought a print for our living room by Lisa Chow. She's a Houston local and I'm loving all her stuff!

This vacation sounds dreamy. Who's with me?

Here's the Bossy Cat enjoying our new couch:

Hope your weekend is full of preparations, board games, and snuggling. xoxo LMB

Exciting things that happened today

2011-08-25T23:20:00.000-04:00

In no particular order.

The new lamp arrived.
Little Ms. Hardcore had a hair appointment, so I got to babysit Shelby. Mostly we played cooking, which involves stirring water in a pot with a spoon.
We bought two of these for our kitchen. Now we want two more.
Legs McGee came over for burgers on the grill.
We found the local recycling center. The amount of cardboard in our apartment is becoming more manageable.
We FINALLY got internet and cable. No more blogging from coffee shops, thank goodness.

I'm in complete denial that I leave in three days.

Bossy Wedding: The Ceremony, Part Zwei

2011-08-24T19:30:00.000-04:00

We held our ceremony at the Weingut Cobenzl, an idyllic vineyard overlooking the entire city of Vienna. It was the hottest day of the summer, without a cloud in the sky. On the urging of our photographer, we chose to see each other and take portraits before the wedding, so that we could be with our friends and family as much as possible after the ceremony. CM closed his eyes and kept his back to me until I was right behind him. Then he turned around and saw me.

I had kept all the details of my dress, etc. a complete secret from him (hard to do since we generally tell each other everything!), and I loved seeing the look on his face when he turned around. We wandered around and took a few pictures, but it was so hot that we didn't last long.

Our guests gathered in the air-conditioned tasting room and drank grape juice mixed with fizzy water (SO good on a hot day!). We waited in a back room and relaxed, mostly just grinning at each other. At 4 o’clock sharp, the guests walked together down the street to the vineyard itself. We followed behind and hid until we heard the music begin: Joshua Radin’s version of “Fly me to the moon,” the most romantic song I know.

Lily, our adorable flower girl, went first, deliberately tossing petals from her basket one by one. Then CM and I walked down the aisle holding hands. I felt myself start to tear up the moment I saw our friends and family beaming at us. “Uh oh,” I said, “it’s starting.” CM squeezed my hand harder.

Writing our own ceremony seemed like a daunting task, but I’m so glad we did. In putting it together, we talked a lot about what marriage meant to us, what we were promising to each other, what was important. Each decision we made was informed by those conversations. I found this post (and the subsequent comments) extremely helpful. (If anyone is interested in the full text of our ceremony, I’m happy to send it your way—when I was researching I liked reading entire ceremonies online, even of strangers.) We wanted it to be personal and meaningful while not losing the gravitas of the occasion. I liked the idea of saying the same words that couples have saying to each other at weddings for generations. We wanted to involve our friends and family as well. So we wrote a secular ceremony that ended up being perfect for us.

My Gay Husband introduced us and told our story, and then Eric’s stepdad did a reading from Robert Fulghum’s “Union.” We said “I do” to traditional vows (in sickness and in health, etc.), and then read to each other the vows we wrote, based on several different sources:

Surrounded by the light and love of our family and friends, I take you to be my beloved.

I ask you to be none other than yourself and vow to share my whole self with you.

I promise to hold your hand through every adventure,

to face life’s challenges together with patience and humor,

and to love you faithfully and wholeheartedly.

I vow to always remain your best friend and your biggest fan.

This commitment is made in love, lived in hope, and made eternally new.

We had planned to read them off a slip of paper, but right before the wedding we decided to read them out of MGH’s book with the whole ceremony instead. Of course while I was saying the vows I got overcome for a moment, had to borrow a handkerchief to dab my eyes, and promptly lost my place in the book. We had to take a moment to find my place before I could continue.

In researching ceremony ideas, I loved the tradition of congregational vows, where all gathered promise to support the marriage. Throughout our relationship, we have been blessed to have so many people rooting for us and helping us succeed. The guests at our wedding will be part of our marriage forever, and I loved hearing them answer “We do” and “We will,” vowing to offer their strength and comfort to us always. After the congregational vows our wedding rings were passed through each person’s hands in a ring blessing/ring warming ceremony. So much positive energy was coming our way during the wedding, and I love thinking of that energy every morning when I put on my ring.

While the rings were passed around, Mama Bossy did a reading from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet (using the book she had been given when she was 18!) and CM’s mom read the “Blessing of the Hands.” When the rings came back to us, we exchanged them with one last set of vows. As a benediction, MGH read an excerpt from Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift from the Sea:

A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart’s. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back—it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it.

Then he pronounced us married, we kissed (chaste without being dismissive, very important), and it was done!

I’m so happy we were able to devise a special ceremony that felt like us but still felt weighty—a difficult balance. I think in planning a wedding it’s tempting to focus all your energy on the dress, the decorations, the flowers, the dinner. But the most important part of any wedding is the ceremony itself; otherwise you’re just throwing a party. The act of standing up in front of our loved ones to make public our private promises felt brave, and important, and transformative.

We're so married, y'all.

(All photos by the incomparable Pink Pixel.)

Bossy Wedding: The Ceremony, Part 1

2011-08-23T13:08:00.000-04:00

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. We actually got married in Vegas. In April. Well, it wasn’t exactly a secret; we just didn’t want to take anything away from our wedding in July, so we mostly kept it to ourselves. We opted to get the legal part out of the way in Vegas for a few reasons. First of all, Austria LOVES its paperwork, and it especially loves for all the paperwork to be in German, so had we done the legal ceremony there we would have had to collect lots of paperwork, get it all translated, and go through tons of red tape, just to get permission to get married. Getting married in the States meant we had to have exactly one thing translated (the marriage certificate itself), which we never actually did since we found out we were moving back. Also, very few of our guests speak or understand German, so we would most likely have had to do two ceremonies anyway. We started mulling over options, and since we were going to Vegas in April to meet Josee, we decided to make an appointment at the Courthouse (no Elvis chapels for us, although I’m sure that would have been fun).

The day sort of crept up on us, since we’d been spending so much time thinking about and planning our July wedding. Then all of a sudden it was time to go get married! We were so excited that we got there extremely early, and ended up serving as witnesses in another wedding (hello, Graham and Linda of England!) before our own. What is it about weddings? Even though it was brief, and it wasn’t personalized, and for goodness’ sake, we didn’t even KNOW the couple getting married, it was meaningful and moving. I teared up at two people we had never met before looking into each other’s eyes and making promises. After quick congratulations and goodbyes, it was our turn. The best thing about getting married in Vegas was that CM’s sister and brother-in-law got to be there as our witnesses, since they couldn’t come to Vienna in July. And Josee was there, too!

We held hands, repeated vows, exchanged rings, kissed, and were pronounced “husband and wife, best friends for life.” I didn’t think I would feel different. It wasn’t our “real” wedding, it’s not the anniversary we’ll celebrate. But I did. For a couple weeks afterward, we kept turning to each other and saying, “Hey, did you know that we’re married?” And every time the answer was “Yes.”

With Josee after the ceremony

Because we’d already gotten the legal part out of the way, we had complete freedom in planning our ceremony, which to be honest was terrifying. Right away we asked My Gay Husband to be our officiant. He’s been a dear friend to me for 13(!) years now, and he’s the best (and funniest) public speaker I know. CM and I ended up writing the bones of the ceremony ourselves as well as choosing readings, and MGH filled in all the transitions and made the whole thing flow smoothly.

One idea that MGH had was interviewing us each separately about our relationship, then writing our “story” and using it as an introduction of sorts to the ceremony. So, one Sunday we both Skyped with him for about an hour, answering all kinds of questions. He compiled all his notes and wrote the most incredible story, which we didn’t hear until the wedding day. The story took us through our first meeting (which I’m sorry to say neither of us remember precisely), the beginning of our relationship, key moments including the proposal, up to the wedding itself.

MGH telling our story

I’ll fill you in on more details of the ceremony tomorrow (before this post becomes novel-length), but for now I’ll leave you with this, the ending of our story, as written by MGH. I’ll just be over here crying (again).

The most touching part of the interviews came when I asked Louisa and Eric how they would describe each other to someone who did not know them.

Louisa’s response was succinct and immediate.

“Everyone loves him,” she said. “Everyone who comes into contact with him loves him. He is likable, loveable, smart, hilarious,” and here Louisa paused, made a big smile and said, “and really handsome.”

Eric, who had been a bit cautious before answering the majority of my questions, gushed at this one and immediately said, “She is beautiful; she has beautiful eyes, is a great smiler and is super-talented. People love her. People innately trust her personally and professionally. She puts people at ease. She has a good sense of humor and runs with a joke. She is caring and giving. I love her sense of grace and graciousness. She is always kind to people.”

Eric continued and said that he “loves the way we are together. The way she makes me laugh—the way we laugh together.”

Given the synchronicity of their responses, it is perhaps not a surprise that when asked, separately mind you, what they thought the other loved most about them, they both said, “We are a team.”

From Houston, to Washington D.C., to Vienna and, as they found out very recently, back to Houston, this wedding does not mark the end of their story, but rather the beginning of a new story.

In response to my question, “What would you two do on a perfect date?” Eric said, “Anything that creates memories for us. We set a high price on making memories together.”

I am certain, as I am sure you are too, that many more memories are waiting to be made. As Louisa and Eric’s friends and family, we couldn’t be more excited to follow you on your next chapter.

My reaction the first time I heard this

(Top photo by my new sister-in-law; others by Pink Pixel)

In which I come very late to the party

2011-08-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

Saturday night I was hanging out with the Lonely Wives Club and we were discussing books, like you do. I just finished State of Wonder (good, but not as good as some other Patchett) and was looking for something new to read. Both of my girlfriends recommended The Hunger Games, and it turned out one of them had the first book in her car, so I took it home with me at the end of the night.

This morning, I finished…the THIRD book of the trilogy. Good lord, people, those books are thrilling. When I got to the end of the first book, there was no question of taking a break, or pacing myself for the next one. The second book was downloading onto my Kindle immediately.

For whatever reason, I've been avoiding these books. I think in my head I was grouping them in with the Twilight books, which I have absolutely no interest in reading (although, given this recent turnaround, ask me in a month). But The Hunger Games books are extraordinary. With superb plotting and fascinating characters, it's thought-provoking, suspenseful stuff. And even though it's supposedly written for young adults, the writing is excellent. So many times when reading a book with a great plot, I get distracted by clunky writing and inelegant turns of phrase (I'm looking at you, Stieg Larsson), but that's not a problem here.

My point being, if you're one of the few also coming late to this party, don't wait any longer—read these books! (You might want to clear your schedule for a day or so.)

Happy weekend!

2011-08-19T17:44:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday, my dears! What are your plans for the weekend? I wish for all of you that are NOT in Houston, where we have now hit and surpassed the record for number of days over 100°F (with no end in sight), a glorious outdoorsy kind of weekend. Have a picnic for me, won't you? Go on a bike ride. As for me, I will be staying in air conditioning all weekend long. CM is leaving town for a couple days, so we'll spend our first married night apart! Boo. Just when I've gotten all used to having him around. To heal the pain, I've organized a little fun with a couple girlfriends whose husbands are also out of town (working title: Lonely Wives' Club). I'm hosting cocktail hour at our place, which is powerful motivation to get the house ready!

Some links for your Friday:

A fantastic article that's such useful, good advice for young singers (and young directors, too).

When we were in New York, we spent a glorious afternoon at Room & Board, coveting. Right now they're offering free shipping on accessories! I'm dying to buy pillows for every room in the house.

I loved this article about J. Crew's Jenna Lyons.

How amazing are these map prints? I'm thinking it would look great in our dining room, as a thematic antidote to the Eiffel Tower. Or something.

We're not yet at the hanging art stage of decorating, but I found these in our stuff, which we had never used, and now we have a little wall gallery of wedding photos. When we're ready for something a bit more permanent, they come right off!

Here's a picture of the Bossy Cat in our new house. She's settling in nicely.

Hope your weekend is full of summer breezes, dinner parties, and fresh starts! xoxo LMB

Brett & Brad • March 31, 2009

2011-08-18T17:00:00.000-04:00

In preparation for our wedding, I asked happy couples I knew about their weddings and marriages. You can see the whole series here.

On what date did you get married?
We had two weddings. A lovely legal ceremony in our friends' home with my parents and some close friends, 8 people in total: March 31, 2009. Then a festive ceremony in a church with lots of music and poetry, followed by a fabulous reception: August 22, 2009.

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Brad: I enjoyed so much about our respective weddings. I think the best part though was the opportunity to share the events with Brett.

Brett: Looking out into the congregation and seeing 100+ people from every period of my life and my husband's life, and feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the love they were showing through their presence at the wedding. This was a true blessing to our marriage.
(On a lighter note, I also remember being slightly confused about which hand was Brad's left hand during the Exchange of Rings... perhaps an admonition if ever there was one for moderation in the pre-wedding cocktail department...)

What's your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?
Brad: Listening. Willingness to see a situation from another's perspective. Saying you're sorry, even when you don't want to. Flexibility. Working together, playing together. Putting another person before yourself sometimes. Searching for those things that make both of you happy.

Brett:
1) Realizing that not every moment will be happy and fulfilling. Sometimes we are in foul moods and it's nobody's fault. I think it's important to create the space in a marriage for the other person to be who he is, both in the good moods and the bad.
2) Being willing to at least try things that the other person loves, even amidst skepticism. Best case scenario is that you now unexpectedly have something that you both love. At the very least, you now have a new topic of animated discussion at dinner.
3) I echo Brad's sentiments about saying sorry: sometimes we do and say things that are unintentionally hurtful, and that (for me at least) is very hard to admit. It's humbling, but ultimately healing for a marriage.
4) We don't live forever, so savor the time you spend together, both the truly joyous moments and the mundane ones. Look for love in all that you do together.

Brad: Yesterday, Brett and I were riding in the car and a word dawned upon me that I had not mentioned to you before.....COMPROMISE! Learn it, perfect it, live it.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Brad: How much closer I would feel to my husband, and how grateful I am to be allowed to marry him.

(Photography by Courtney Lindberg)

Bossy Wedding: The Clothes

2011-08-18T12:59:00.001-04:00

I bought the first wedding dress I tried on. I didn't think that was how it was going to go down, honestly, because I wasn't sure that my perfect dress existed. I knew I wanted a short dress that looked like something I would wear normally, just prettier, and white. I didn't want anything too fussy that would make me feel uncomfortable at any point during the day, but it had to be elegant and beautiful. I made an appointment at Saja, who got bonus points right away for being the only bridal store that didn't hem and haw about whether it might already be too late for me to be dress shopping (it was February).

The Saja store in New York is tiny and adorable and filled with so many lovely things that I kind of wanted to take the whole store home with me. The saleswoman suggested that I try on a very simple dress to begin with, and as soon as it was on my body I didn't want to take it off. When the Wise Soprano arrived and saw it, she just sort of sighed "Ohhh" in a way that confirmed what I already knew. The sample size fit me pretty well, but just for fun I tried on one size down and it was perfect. No alterations needed—I was able to take it home that day! I had such a magical experience at Saja. We had the store all to ourselves for the hour, and it was the most calming environment, no pressure or aggressive sales techniques to be found. You can check them out and see lots of pictures of gorgeous brides on their Facebook page.

Now here's the crazy thing…a couple weeks before the wedding, when I was cleaning out all the wedding-related bookmarks from my browser, I found a link to the dress I bought. It was the first dress I ever bookmarked, and then I had forgotten all about it! How's that for meant to be?

I bought the sash in the store that day as well, and the brooch was my German grandmother's. My aunt gave it to me years ago, and I was so happy to have the right moment to wear it.

I love my birdcage veil so much. I look terrible in all hats (ALL HATS), but I am a big fan of fascinators and the like. My veil was made by my lovely friend Emily of Rohm Bridal (Emily and I went to college together many moons ago) who does the most beautiful work! The veil elevated a very simple look to something so special, and it's such high quality that I can picture passing it down to a daughter one day.

Oddly enough, while the dress ended up being easy to find, I had the hardest time finding the right shoes. The moral of the story is: don't go to Bergdorf's and try on Manolo Blahniks if you are not prepared to spend $700 on a pair of shoes. You will end up falling in love with a pair and then looking for a cheaper version, which will not exist. Sigh. Learn from my mistakes, people. It took me weeks of longing for the Manolos before I had to give myself a wake-up call and start fresh. After that, I found the perfect shoes right away. They are NOTHING like the ones I fell in love with originally.

They're Kate Spade, and I love them so. On CM's feet are Paul Smith socks given to me as an opening night gift by a director, and new shoes from Humanic.

My necklace was Swarovski (local to Austria—did you know that?), given to me by CM as a wedding day gift. Without particularly meaning to, I ended up with something old (the brooch), something new (most everything else), something borrowed (Legs McGee let me borrow her slip at the last minute), and something blue (my gorgeous necklace). It was the only piece of jewelry I wore besides my engagement ring.

I was incredibly lucky to have friends who knew what they were doing in the hair and makeup department, because I foolishly thought I would be able to do it all myself. I fell in love with this hairstyle, but when I tried to replicate it by myself a couple weeks before the wedding, it was a bit of a disaster. Thank goodness for Legs McGee and the Wise Soprano, who came to my hotel room along with the Best Friend and Polly Polyglot, armed with all manner of bobby pins, curling irons, hairdryers, and makeup, and proceeded to make me beautiful while I sat passively in my bathrobe. Heaven. We joked that they should open a salon, and it would be called We've Got Volume, Folks! It's always good to have a backup career.

I had bought some new makeup from Sephora, and Legs McGee brought lipstick for me (I never wear more than gloss, and I wouldn't know how to begin to find the right shade—somehow she found it without me even being there). I can highly recommend Make Up For Ever foundation, concealer, and powder (all in the palest colors they come in, obvs), because my makeup managed to stay put through an entire day of record heat and lots of happy crying. Also, Legs McGee made me look better than I had ever looked previously. It was a good day to have a professional photographer around. (For those of you interested in such things, I also wore Nars blush in Orgasm, Stila eyeshadow in Kitten and Americano (and a few other things LMcG threw in for good measure, I think), Cover Girl Liquiline Blast Eyeliner in black layered over violet, Cover Girl LashBlast Fusion Water Resistant Mascara in Very Black, Sephora Nano Lip Liner in Pure Pinky, and MAC lipstick in Crème Cup.)

CM wore a navy suit from Hugo Boss. Because he is male, he magically lost weight just from walking in Vienna (despite a somewhat increased beer intake, ahem), so this suit was the first thing that had fit him perfectly for several months. He looked super dashing and handsome.

We bought his tie at Peek & Cloppenburg and the boutonniere was just fresh lavender tied with white ribbon. The ribbon actually came unraveled before the wedding even began, so he ended up wearing the lavender in his pocket for the rest of the day.

I gave him cufflinks for a wedding day present. They were made by Sandy of PunkyJane on Etsy, who did an incredible job. One said "I Do" and the other had our wedding date on it. I also got him one of these with our wedding date for him to carry always (bonus: he'll never forget our anniversary).

Funny story: CM got ready at the ceremony venue, and by mistake he brought the wrong shirt, one without French cuffs. Luckily My Gay Husband was getting ready with him. "I need a pair of scissors and something sharp," he said, and lying on the table were scissors and a corkscrew. He cut the buttons off and made holes with the corkscrew, and voila! CM was able to wear the cufflinks. MGH has a new nickname: Gay MacGyver.

Incidentally, CM always finds the cutest, slightly funky but still professional glasses at SEE. This girl makes passes at boys who wear glasses.

(All photos by the unparalleled Pink Pixel Photography.)

Bossy Wedding

The Invitations

The Week Before

Bossy Wedding: The Week Before

2011-08-17T12:27:00.001-04:00

From the moment we decided to have the wedding in Vienna we knew we wanted to plan other events leading up to it. If you're inviting people to travel halfway around the world, you want to entertain them for more than just a few hours. We did a lot of brainstorming and ended up coming up with activities that took us from Thursday night through Sunday morning.

Thursday night we started with The Best of the Wurst, a beer and wurst crawl through the inner part of the city. I'm very proud of the name, which came to me in a flash of inspiration one morning. The lack of open container laws in Europe is always a treat for Americans, who dream of walking through the streets sipping a beer (at least THIS American does), and Vienna in the summer is hopping with outdoor events, so we kept the whole evening outside. We started at the Staatsoper with a beer while we waited for everyone to arrive. Some of our guests had already been in Vienna for a day or more (our parents all arrived on Sunday), and some were meeting for the first time.

Once everyone was there, we headed to the Würstelstand behind the Staatsoper (our fave) for a Käsekrainer and more beer, which we took up to the top of the Albertina Museum to eat.

Then we headed to the Museumsquartier, which took much longer than expected, first because the Spanische Hochreitschule Summer Ball was in progress (many detours and Wieners in fancy dress), and then because we stumbled upon people dancing in the Heldenplatz (we wanted to watch).

To the Museumsquartier for more wurst and more beer, and then we ended the night at the Rathaus (City Hall), where they hold a Film Festival of operas and music during the summer, complete with lots of food and drink booths. Thursday's selection was Bruckner's 5th Symphony (probably wouldn't have been our 1st choice), and the place was packed with people ignoring the music. We foraged for food and sat on park benches chatting. All in all, a great night and a perfect way to see the city.

Friday morning we were up early to avoid the heat for our Photo Scavenger Hunt (Did you know the word for scavenger hunt in German is Schnitzeljagd? Me either.) We divided into 2 teams and gave each team an Instax camera, which is sort of like a Polaroid but cuter. I had been looking for an excuse to buy one for a very long time, and we ended up buying 3 different kinds to see which we liked best (this one, but I think we're keeping them all).

CM came up with the list and instructions:

The rules: To take a photo of each one of the following items. Speed is not the goal, but rather, creativity. Take turns taking the photos so that everyone has taken at least one, and each team member must be in at least one of the photos.

1. Something with “Vienna” or “Wien” in the title
2. Team members with a statue of a composer
3. A street entertainer
4. 1 Team member with a Mozart ticket seller (bonus if you can steal his wig)
5. A window display of desserts and/or pastries (photos of eating the subjects are optional)
6. Team members on a tram
7. The inside of a church
8. Team members reflected in a mirror
9. Plaque on the side of a building denoting something historic
10. Team members jumping in front of the Rathaus OR the Stephansdom OR the Konzerthaus
11. Flowers in a park
12. Team members with a Fiaker (horse & carriage driver)
BONUS: Someone in a Dirndl or Lederhosen

Oh, lord, was that fun. We're going to take all the Instax photos and put them in an album. Some of them are so funny.

Friday night we had people over to our apartment for desserts and cocktails. By that time in the week, we were pretty exhausted, so I scrapped all plans of baking cakes and instead went to Oberlaa and got lots of delicious things. Papa Bossy made biscotti and I made Porch Swings (CM had brought Pimm's back for me from a recent trip to London). We actually ended up leaving our own party early so that we could do a few last-minute wedding things and get some sleep.

Getting a hotel room the night before the wedding was one of the best choices we made, and I highly recommend it to others getting married. After all the craziness of the week, we sat quietly in bed and talked about everything we were looking forward to the next day. It was magical. Also, if you're looking for a hotel, why not make it Le Meridien? They treated us so well, upgrading us to a suite when they heard we were getting married, and leaving champagne in our room on the night of the wedding.

Saturday was the wedding, of course, and then Sunday we all met up for brunch at Pierre, a favorite spot in our neighborhood. It was low-key and easy, and we were able to all sit outside on the patio. We left that night for our honeymoon, so it was the perfect way to say goodbye.

The best thing about planning so much together time for the week before the wedding was that by the time Saturday rolled around everyone knew each other already. If we'd held the wedding in the States, our friends might have met each other for the first time on the day itself. It was such a luxury to not have to worry about any new dynamics and feel completely confident that everyone would have a good time together. Plus, we loved showing off our city, and because we knew we were leaving so soon it felt like a last Vienna hurrah for us as well.

(All photos by me again.)

Bossy Wedding: The Invitations

2011-08-16T18:55:00.001-04:00

Sometimes the best ideas we have start out as jokes (see: Eiffel Tower Nespresso pod holder) before we decide they're too good to laugh away. We wanted to send out Save-the-Dates via email so that we could take our time collecting real addresses and give everyone a taste of the party we were planning (although at that point we knew NONE of the actual details other than the date). We played around with video ideas, and then, with only a bit of guidance from me, CM made THIS!

Sigh. He's amazing.

When it came to the actual paper invitations, we looked at quite a few (expensive) options online, before I finally had the bright idea to ask my parents for their help. (I like to say I was not so much a DIY bride as a HYDDI (Have Your Dad Do It) bride). Collaborating with them on the design, the paper, and every decision was incredible, and the product we ended up with was better and more personal than anything we had found. Plus, a friend of theirs printed them in her basement (yeah, I was skeptical at first, too) for a ridiculously low rate.

The Invitation:

That's Vienna's skyline on the bottom, in case you're wondering.

We also printed little coordinating cards with our wedding website, and return address labels (which I imagined we'd be able to use for a long time—wah waah).

I had this idea to use vintage Vienna postcards for RSVP cards, and I had SUCH fun hunting them down on eBay. Then we used a rolling alphabet stamp to print on the back (and by "we" I mean "my dad," who has a much steadier hand than I do).

I really liked the idea of using vintage stamps on the envelopes, and I spent one rainy afternoon poring through stamps at a little shop in Manhattan, but I didn't end up finding a ton that I loved, so we mostly used USPS Love stamps, which this year are the King and Queen of Hearts. I did use some of the vintage ones for the invitations going to Europe, though. Fun fact: we discovered it costs about the same to send mail to Germany from the USA as it does to send it from Austria. Who knew?

Metropolitan Opera stamps! (Nerd alert.)

I was lucky enough to be able to go home to Oregon and visit my folks in March, so we went to the paper store to choose envelopes and paper, went to the printer together, and then formed an assembly line at the dining room table stuffing, addressing, stamping, and sealing.

That's my dad in the "No Kangaroos in Austria" t-shirt.

We were so pleased with how everything turned out. Also, it didn't hurt that the total we spent on invitations (including stamps, paper, envelopes, pens, rolling alphabet stamp and ink, printing, and the vintage postcards) was $300. I highly recommend a HYDDI wedding.

(All photos in this post by me, which is why they're all blurry. You can click them to see them bigger.)

Bossy Wedding

2011-08-16T14:18:00.000-04:00

When we first started planning our wedding, I said I wanted it to feel like a backyard family party we would throw, if we had a backyard and were professional chefs. I clipped photos of long tables lined with small arrangements of wildflowers. We pictured friends from every part of each of our lives, meeting for the first time and becoming the community that would witness and support our marriage. We were adamant from the beginning that every element of the day should be meaningful and memorable for us, and that any "traditions" that didn't pass those tests wouldn't be part of our wedding. I thought I'd probably cry all day, and laugh even more.

At some point during the planning process, I got a bit sidetracked. Everyone was always asking how the wedding planning was going as if it was supposed to be a full-time job, and I had never had much to offer in response. We had picked a date and a venue, we had invited people, I had found a dress—what was left? After quitting the wedding blogs cold turkey, I ended up guiltily reading them all again. I couldn't help myself. And all of a sudden, I was getting a LOT of ideas. Maybe we should be shopping for tiny vases to hold our tiny wildflower bouquets (I was going to arrange them myself, of course). And maybe we should be decorating the reception restaurant with DIY bunting made of vintage sheet music. Maybe we should have a wall of antique keys so that people can write their "keys to a happy marriage" on tags and then hang them on keys. And then we would need to have a vintage hotel key holder to hang all the keys, or maybe a vintage window frame that I painted myself. (That is a real thing I saw on a wedding blog—I am not creative enough to make that up.)

Up to that point, I hadn't been stressed about the wedding much at all (CM might disagree). But all this DIY nonsense completely freaked me out. Thank goodness CM was there to save me from myself. We hired a florist (duh), left the sheet music bunting in its prototype stage, and didn't go out once to source antique keys.

And the wedding was everything we wanted it to be, truly a perfect day. The things that went "wrong" are some of my fondest memories, like CM bringing the wrong shirt, or my veil flying off, or a ladybug landing on my shoulder and distracting me during the vows, or the tiny raindrops that started falling during dinner and resulted in everyone pitching in to move tables just in time for the rain to stop. You always hear people saying their wedding day flew past in a blur, but it didn't feel like that to me. If anything, my awareness was so heightened that almost every part of the day is etched into my memory.

Still, it couldn't hurt to write it all down for posterity, right? This week I'm so excited to share with you the photos and stories of our wedding. All photos, unless otherwise noted, are by Pink Pixel Photography, all rights reserved. I hope you'll enjoy reliving the day with me.

Happy weekend!

2011-08-12T21:30:00.001-04:00

What is everyone doing this weekend? Any big plans? We're planning a last lazy day in New York tomorrow (possibly with a trip to Levain for the best cookies in the world) before we had back to Houston in the evening. The big potential excitement on Sunday is that we're getting a Costco membership! Yes, we are embracing America (and our new spacious kitchen).

Some weekend linky goodness:

We can't get enough of Sherlock (and it's on Instant Netflix), a modernized Sherlock Holmes miniseries from BBC. Luckily, more episodes are coming this winter.

This would be an excellent use of a lazy Sunday morning.

I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do with it, but I MUST own this piece of furniture. Perfection.

Single tickets to the Met's new season go on sale tomorrow. Which shows are you excited about?

I splurged on a new bag for work, big enough to hold a score AND a laptop. I love love love it.

Just in case you could use a little Firenze in your life...

Here's hoping your weekend is filled with easy travel days, fruity sangria, and air-conditioned movie theaters. xoxo LMB

It's a helluva town

2011-08-09T23:12:00.000-04:00

People, I do not know how anyone lives in New York for realsies. We arrived Saturday for a one-week stay, and this city has already both completely kicked my ass AND stolen my pocketbook (not really, it's a metaphor). Work is great: there's almost nowhere I'd rather spend my days than in a darkened theater discussing lighting states and staging options. (I say almost because I wouldn't mind at all spending a few more days in Tuscany ogling sunflower fields and eating my body weight in pasta, obvs.) CM is with me, dutifully playing Opera Husband while still managing to get oodles of work done. The weather isn't horrid. We're seeing friends.

HOWEVER. This morning I spent half an hour on the A train, standing awkwardly close to strangers, stuck between stations. Every few minutes the conductor announced that we were stopped due to track work, and that we'd be moving again in "just a few moments." Then she would (in what could only be a passive aggressive display of irony) thank us for our patience, every time. When we finally got started again, there was a collective sigh of relief, which is how I know that the woman next to me ate an onion bagel for breakfast. Then, inexplicably, with nary a thanks for our patience, the express train started making local stops. I don't know why. No one was getting off the train, but there were large crowds at every single station, cramming into the car in waves. After an hour and change, I finally got off the train and tasted fresh air at Columbus Circle. I arrived at work 10 minutes before our tech session started.

This is not a civilized way to live.

I think I miss my SUV. (Feel free to judge.)

Lee Anne & Dan • October 18, 2003

2011-08-08T02:00:00.000-04:00

From Lee Anne...

On what date did you get married?
October 18, 2003

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Looking out over the reception room and thinking “Yep. These people are so awesome...and they're our friends and family. We are so very blessed."

What's your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Hrmmmm—this is something we're always working on: not in the workbook sense, but in the ‘being kind’ sense...I think sometimes when you're super familiar and comfortable it's so very easy to be hard on each other...hold the other to high (unspoken) expectations, expect supreme mind-reading abilities to manifest in laundry being done or groceries in the fridge or a fantastic vacation planned without having to utter a word...but the truth is that we're often cruelest to those closest to us. We try really hard to be loving and nice, even on those rare occasions when we're not agreeing. And I have finally admitted that my ESP is non-functional, and that I cannot make Dan do anything using just brain waves. (Well, I can make him get really frustrated with me for not actually saying what it is I want/need...haven't figured out how to use my powers for good yet, though.)

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Reinvent yourselves when you need to...but do it together. In some ways we're right where we thought we'd be eight years in, and in some ways we're light years away. But we're together and happy, and creating this weird life together!

Happy weekend!

2011-08-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

My dears, what do you have planned this weekend (one of the FEW left before summer's over!)? We're hopping on a plane to New York tomorrow for a week. I have tech next week, and CM is coming along as Opera Husband! (Well, actually he's doing some work too, but a girl can dream.) I'm so looking forward to being back at work, after over 2 months off. Hope I still remember how to do my job.

A few links for your weekend:

Have you seen these incredible photos that photographer James Mollison takes of children from all over the world and where they sleep? They are completely fascinating, and a book has now been published of them: Where Children Sleep.

We are rediscovering the joys of cable, and we have become totally addicted to Rocco's Dinner Party on Bravo. Have you seen it? Rocco Dispirito brings in 3 chefs every episode, puts them through a challenge, and then chooses 2 to create complete dinner parties for him and his (hilarious) B-list celebrity friends, a different group every time. It's like a super-condensed Top Chef, but with fun party banter.

Speaking of which, on the last episode we watched the guys from one of our favorite podcasts was on. Have you listened to The Dinner Party Download ("guaranteed to help you win your next dinner party")? It comes out once a week, is only 15-20 minutes, and always makes me laugh and gives me something random to discuss. I highly recommend it.

As we pick furniture and decor for our new place, I've been having fun using Polyvore, a tool to make inspiration boards. I made two potential looks for our living room: here and here.

This is what I've been drinking for cocktail hour this week. It's delicious. I may or may not have tried it because I love Bethenny Frankel more than I should.

Another wedding picture that makes me happy. I love this guy.

Hope your weekend is filled with ripe tomatoes, cocktails al fresco, and watching reality TV in bed. xoxo LMB

Home sweet Houston

2011-08-05T11:50:00.000-04:00

One year ago today we woke up in our Vienna apartment for the first time (probably around 4am, if I'm remembering correctly). We were ready to start our new life as expats in Europe, excited to discover our favorite restaurants and shops, studying hard for our upcoming German classes.

This morning I woke up in Houston, in a gorgeous high-rise apartment with a panoramic view that is being generously lent to us until we get settled. We got in our rental SUV, stopped at Starbucks, and I dropped CameraMan off at work, where I'll meet him in a couple hours for lunch.

We're back. It's official.

And it occurred to me this morning that I never really wrote about what was happening with us. What with the families in town, and the wedding, and the honeymoon, and the move, it's all over and I never told you why we came back. Well, if you're wondering, this is why (that top picture was taken by me, incidentally). My beloved CM got an opportunity the likes of which does not come frequently, an offer that we could not pass up. The timing was terrible, neither of us felt like we were done in Vienna, but we also both knew almost without a doubt that this was the right move, not only for CM's career, but for us. I think Vienna will always hold a special meaning for us: it's the place we got engaged, the place we got married, and I think the place we truly learned to rely on each other. Now we're on to the next adventure.

So here I am, back on American soil, expat no longer. It looks like I won't be crossing #6 off my list any time soon. I'm struggling a bit with what to do with this space, what it means, why I'm writing and for whom. I think the answers to those questions will come in their own time, so for now I'm going to keep telling you about my life as it unfolds. In the next few weeks, I'll also be sharing details and images from our wedding, excerpts from the journal I kept on our honeymoon (I'll leave out the racy bits), and a few more Happy Marriage posts, because it turns out I know a lot of happy marriages. I'll also be telling you all about the rental townhouse we found which is absolutely perfect in every way. We move in (with our meager belongings—remember the Great Purge of 2010?) on the 15th!

Happy weekend!

2011-07-29T20:14:00.000-04:00

Friends, what are you up to this weekend? We arrived yesterday in Houston and have already been super-busy driving around to look at townhouses, buying up everything Target sells, (window) shopping for furniture, and hitting up our favorite restaurants. This weekend promises more of the same. Tonight I'm taking CM to Hearsay for the first time. We'll sit at the bar drinking cocktails and snacking on small plates. And talking about how CRAZY it is to be back in Houston!

A few links for your weekend:

Today at Crate & Barrel I especially loved this couch and this bed. What do you think?

We bought a Tempurpedic mattress today—I could not be more excited, except that we don't have a bed or a house to put it in yet! Thankfully, we got to take home these fantastic pillows in the meantime. They actually feel cold to the touch! Bliss indeed.

I'm loving this new treasure trove of recipes. Those peaches look amazing, don't they?

Ladies, do you subscribe to the Shopafrolic daily emails? You should. Trust me.

This is what I'll be having for cocktail hour tonight. SO delicious.

Here's a silly picture from our wedding reception that I love. More to come very soon...

Hope your weekend is filled with blue skies, lazy mornings, and some good old-fashioned economy stimulating. xoxo LMB

Becca & Craig • May 27, 2006

2011-07-27T06:40:00.001-04:00

On what date did you get married?

May 27, 2006

What do you remember most from your wedding?

It was our happiest day to date. The entire day couldn't have been more perfect—the ceremony, the party, and especially the people. We were overwhelmed by the love and support that surrounded us and were so grateful for everyone who traveled from all corners of the country to be with us. It was amazing to have so many people from so many different parts of our lives gather together in one place.

Specific memories— We both remember the first time we saw each other that day. Becca remembers the desserts at the reception. Craig remembers the music at the ceremony. Becca remembers how hot it was standing in an unairconditioned church in Philadelphia—Craig doesn't recall this as vividly. Craig remembers Becca falling while dancing the "Cotton Eye Joe"—consequently, she limped her way through the honeymoon. Becca remembers the ice cream cones that were served to cleanse the palate between dinner courses. Craig remembers how hard it was to collect all of the family in one place to take pictures. We both remember our first dance. Craig remembers how happy Becca and her father were during their dance. We both remember the toasts with great fondness. More than anything, we both remember feeling very lucky, grateful, and humbled by the day's events that have continued to provide happy memories.

What's your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?

Communicate. Share as many dinners together as possible. Find out who does which chores better and stick to that plan. When in doubt, try to laugh. Learn from other happily married couples. When one member of the team is down, it's the other's turn to rally.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?

Hm m m m m . . . . . . . we can't imagine having all “the answers” without learning things along the way together. To discover these unknowns together is one of the greatest parts of being married. I don't think either of us would want it any other way.

Elisha & Thomas • February 13, 2000

2011-07-26T08:41:00.000-04:00

On what day were you married?

February 13, 2000

What do you remember most from your wedding?

We got married in Central Park. It was stunningly beautiful, very cold and outrageous.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?

This is a very hard question to answer! That being said, here are a few things that have served us well: Learn how to communicate with each other; remember what's important and matters to you both, individually and as a couple...it tempers the daily grind and can help provide perspective and focus; nurture the relationship and each other; laugh together, often!; build happiness; and work to love, respect, and take care of each other every day.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
This one stumped us both, which I suppose could be taken to mean that there's nothing anyone can tell a person that might properly inform them about marriage beforehand. ;)

Alison & Keir • October 27, 2001

2011-07-25T12:28:00.000-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon (and moving back to Texas), I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
October 27, 2001

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Keir: Apart from how beautiful Alison was, I remember being surprised at how nervous I was right as the ceremony began! After how many hundreds of live performances on stage, I was really nervous all of sudden!

Alison: What I remember most about our wedding day was the car ride from the church to the reception. It was just us, and a precious few minutes where we just sort of basked in the magnitude of what had just happened. That and the dramatic reading of "Love is patient, love is kind" by actor/singer friend Erik Lautier. It was....highly contrasting. Oh, and the Widor Toccata to end the service. I still tear up when I hear it.

What’s your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Keir: It's cliché to say, but open lines of communication are extremely important. I also think it's really important for each person to maintain some facet of life that is individual and independent. We are very much a team, but we each still do a few things that are our own, and I think that is good for both of us' mental health and well being.

Alison: A few things come to mind, some are quite cliché, but ring true to me.
1. Treat "love" as a verb.
2. Be kind.
3. That whole bit about not falling asleep angry is a load of horsesh*t. Sometimes you just need to call it a night, sleep on it, and chances are it won't seem so bad the next day.
4. Accept that you will change and your partner will change. Life will take you in all sorts of directions you don't expect, and that's okay as long as you keep your relationship to each other front and center.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Keir: I wish I had been more aware of the way external stresses, particularly work, can make married life challenging sometimes. I guess I thought work is work, and home is home, but they really do affect one another.

Alison: That relationship dynamics adjust to keep things in balance. As in, both partners can't be: freaking out, depressed, wildly happy, whatever extreme emotion you want, at the same time. The other partner will naturally somewhat counterbalance the extreme. It is important to not take this personally or as a sign of trouble. It is a survival mechanism to help you weather the rough patches of life while still attending to everyday business. Just remember to stay connected, supportive, and loving during the tough times—it will all even out in the end.

Happy Weekend!

2011-07-23T05:46:00.001-04:00

Hello, dear readers! Are you still here? We got home last night from our honeymoon, and despite it being the most relaxing vacation on record, we're exhausted! It's almost noon, and we're still lounging in bed with our extremely happy cat, catching up on emails and all things internet. Tonight we're going to a Harry Potter double feature (NOT dubbed in German)! I can't wait to fill you in on the details of our wedding, which actually DID turn out to be the happiest day of my life so far, and our fabulous Italian honeymoon. However, I think it's going to have to wait. We leave Europe in exactly FIVE days, and there's so much to be done before we go! I hope you've been enjoying the happy marriage posts, because I have more coming next week.

In the meantime, some links:

While we were in Tuscany, I got inspired to read some Frances Mayes. I'd read Under the Tuscan Sun a long time ago, so this time I started with Bella Tuscany: The Sweet Life in Italy, and now I'm completely hooked! I absolutely adored Every Day in Tuscany: Seasons of an Italian Life (written 20 years after buying the house!), and now I've bought A Year in the World: Journeys of A Passionate Traveller, and I'm trying to ration it out so it lasts. She's such a beautiful and evocative writer. Read her books, and you'll feel like YOU just got home from a honeymoon in Tuscany

Somehow, after 10 days in Italy, we STILL haven't had enough pasta. I'm not sure I could ever get tired of Italian food. This may not be authentically Italian, but I want some tonight.

The latest series on A Cup of Jo, on juggling work and motherhood, makes for some fascinating and inspiring reading.

These look like the perfect cocktail hour snack. I think I would pair it with a Negroni, while feeling nostalgic for pecorino al forno con miele in the Piazza del Popolo in Montalcino. Sigh.

I've unsubscribed from all the wedding blogs, and feel like replacing them with some design and nesting blogs. Any suggestions of good ones?

We were overjoyed to find a package from Pink Pixel with our wedding photos in the mailbox when we got home last night. I'm looking forward to sharing all my favorites with you, but for now...

Hope your weekend is filled with laughter, reminiscing, and empty to-do lists. xoxo LMB

Jennifer & Roger • November 12, 2000

2011-07-22T08:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
We got married Nov. 12, 2000 in Paris, France....then we did another one in Portland to make sure it was legal and such. To keep it simple, we celebrate only 1 anniversary. We just celebrated 10 years—I really can't believe that!

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Jennifer: Dancers throwing flower petals everywhere after the ceremony......tourists stopping to take photos....rain...champagne....it was all magical. At both ceremonies, the feeling of being surrounded by our friends and lots of love.

Roger: The bells of Notre Dame tolling as we kissed, plus all Jennifer's stuff.

What's your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Roger: To paraphrase Mary Matalin, "is this hill worth dying for?" Remember to keep things simple and don't sweat the small stuff.

Jennifer: Keep laughing! Roger and I have loads of fun together....it makes the stressful times much easier to deal with.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Jennifer: Honestly, no—it's a great journey to take together and I appreciate what I've learned about myself and how to be in a relationship. Plus, too much knowing might have scared me away from marriage!

Roger: Agreed.

Maria & Steve • February 13, 1993

2011-07-21T08:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
February 13, 1993

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Maria: Our photographer told the women that if we held our bouquets down below our waists, we would look thinner. We forgot to pay the guy who played piano for our reception and he came to our apartment that night to get paid. I guess he couldn't wait until Monday. The pastor who officiated was a singer in college and he sang every hymn with incredible gusto.

Steve: I was expecting one of those Hollywood “speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace” moments. It never came.

What is your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?
Maria: It can be HARD to live with someone else and I think figuring out your daily living is a key to being happy together. Think about it, when you get move in with someone, you’re merging your household with someone who grew up with different expectations, routines and, let’s face it, varying levels of housekeeping standards. Love does not conquer all in the “keeping house” department. Maybe your spouse doesn’t see that the dishwasher needs to be emptied, or perhaps one of you leaves their clothes all over the bedroom floor – the logistics of running a household can generate a lot of marital strife. We can (and should) expect each of us to share in the daily work of living together, but we can’t expect our spouse to live exactly like we do. They’re not going to. So, decide what you’re both willing to let go of – it’s a lot nicer to live with someone if you’re not constantly keeping track of all the stuff that drives you crazy.

And, yes, I leave my clothes all over our bedroom floor—I'm working on it. And Steve is actually pretty good at emptying the dishwasher but he does leave empty cereal boxes on the counter all the time (a habit he easily passed on to our two children).

Steve: Continue to be amazed and entertained by your spouse. Over time it’s easy to become complacent. But, she is most likely the same amazing, entertaining person she once was—plus, she’ll continue to bring new things to the table.

Hold each other up. No matter what. You will appreciate your spouse on a whole new level once they’ve supported you through your personal trials.

Kids (if you have them) are wonderful. They are important. And, stressful. Don’t overlook your relationship when kid stresses take the forefront.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Steve: Maria is right.

Maria: We were nineteen when we got married, still in college, and on the verge of becoming very young parents. We were scared out of our minds (and rightly so). I wish I knew then how happy I am now—that all the work and uncertainty is completely worth it. I absolutely adore Steve and I am amazed by him. I think he is a fantastic partner in life, an excellent father and pretty darn sexy. We're pretty good together. When we got married, I knew all this was possible, but, at the time, I just couldn’t see how we would get there. All the stuff Steve wrote above? It’s true and it works for us.

Steve: See? Maria is right.

Rachel & Mickey • March 17, 2006

2011-07-20T08:00:00.003-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date were you married?
March 17, 2006

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Rachel: I remember being so excited all day and our vows.

Mickey: I was excited to see you in your dress and that our family was there to be part of it.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Rachel: My advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage is to keep a great sense of humor and think of the other person and his needs.

Mickey: Remember to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Remember the bigger picture.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Rachel: One thing that I wish I would have known is that it is not going to be easy on some days and then on other days it is the easiest thing in the world. That ebb and flow was hard for me at first.

Cindy & Hector • June 28, 1992

2011-07-19T08:00:00.004-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?

Sunday, June 28, 1992. Just celebrated our 19th anniversary! Where did that time go?

What do you remember most from from your wedding?

Cindy: Because I was in So. Cal., where we had two major earthquakes that morning (google it!), I remember being worried Hector wouldn’t be able to fly down from San Francisco in time. Turns out his flight was delayed, but he still got in several hours before the event, which took place in his brother’s back yard. As for the wedding itself, I remember that since we hadn’t hired a photographer, we put out disposable cameras all around, and people standing all around us in the yard (we were married on the steps of the hot tub gazebo) snapped pictures all through the ceremony from all angles. I also remember that my brothers cleaned out the lox from the bagel platter before Hector got there, and he was irked about that… I remember that everything went off beautifully, especially considering that we only planned it a few weeks in advance and spend only a couple thousand dollars. It was a really happy day. Oh, and the wedding night was also memorable. :)

Hector: Well, I’m STILL irked about the ‘lox incident’ but I guess I should get over it at this point :). I was covering a show at San Francisco Opera and that weekend was the only ‘open’ time we had for a long while, hence the early morning flight to SoCal. I was pretty cranky what with lack of sleep and sitting at the gate while the flight took on extra fuel since LAX was shut down due to the quakes. Altogether a crappy start to what should be a wonderful day. But that day WAS wonderful! - a special event to share with family and friends, the minister wore cowboy boots (I think I did too…), we ordered platters from the local market and had champagne from Trader Joes. It was as low-stress as a wedding could be and I couldn’t have asked for a happier day or a more beautiful bride. We stayed at the Pierpont Inn in Ventura (lovely Craftsman style hotel) that evening then had breakfast with the family the next morning. I know there were other goings-on that evening but memory fails…

What is your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?

Cindy: While it is great to have separate hobbies and evenings out with friends, try to do most things together. Just mundane little trips to the store or to work out or whatever. Keep connected. This will make you work the little irritating things out before they can really grow. I think disconnection is one of the most dangerous things a marriage can face. When you’re working in far-flung cities, talk and share as much as possible. Of course, the biggest advice is marry someone you LIKE as well as love.

Hector: Every relationship is different and, ultimately, each couple has to find their own particular way; but I think that we’ve found a good balance. We spend a lot of time laughing - at ourselves, at each other (gently), at the world (crying would be the other option), and at whatever else captures our attention. We’ve tried very hard not to competitive with each other career-wise – it can be a real relationship killer. We support each other’s career; celebrating every success and coping with setbacks together. We were friends before we became a couple, so I agree with Cindy that it’s critical to like each other as well as to love. It doesn’t hurt that we’re compatible on stage too!

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married? Let me in on it!

Cindy: I can’t really think of anything offhand… I do remember being surprised how differently we were treated as a couple after we were married. We lived together before, as you have, so I didn’t think it would be so different, but it really was. Perhaps it was just the vows and my response to them, but in many ways it seemed like people took us more seriously as our own little family, once it was legal.

Hector: Not really – it was more traumatic buying a house together – THAT’S when you find out interesting info, but that’s a different story! Making the decision to get married is easy – if you take the time to get to know your partner beforehand. If there’s any little bit of info you’re withholding until you’re married… good luck!

Most of all, from both of us, we wish you a beautiful lifetime together. You have NO idea where you’ll be in five, ten, or twenty years, but if you’re fortunate, you’ll be there together in good health.

Hannah & Brian • October 10, 2004

2011-07-18T08:00:00.006-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what day did you get married?

October 10, 2004

What do you remember most from your wedding?

Brian: Being surrounded by people who loved and supported us; a sense of “arrival” as a couple.

Hannah: Having all of the little things come together the way that we had envisioned.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?

Be honest and open, obviously. Never stop communicating because you can’t actually read each others’ minds. Talk about problems as they arise and not months after the fact. The sooner you air your feelings, the faster the healing time will be.

Keep the big picture in mind. Your relationship is more than the small stuff, so try not to let the little things cloud your view. Your success as a couple doesn’t depend on your ability to fix all of your partner’s quirks and flaws. Remember that you were friends first, and when best friends don’t agree on something, they are still kind to each other.

Hold onto your sense of humor. This is supposed to be fun!

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?

This probably won’t be THE happiest day of your life, especially if you have children, but it’s going to be right up there, so enjoy every minute of it. Spend your money on the good photographer. Eat the delicious food at your reception. Don’t have your reception in your apartment and DO invite your extended family. They may never forgive you, even if you write them personal notes on actual paper, mailed via USPS, explaining your choice, and then invite them to the OTHER huge party you throw the following summer. Well, they may forgive you, but you’ll never hear the end of it.

Caroline & Perryn • July 2, 1993

2011-07-15T08:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date were you married?

July 2, 1993, in Caroline's hometown of Edinburgh, Scotland

What do you remember most from your wedding?

Caroline: The music really stands out in my mind – we had a wonderful soprano, Catherine Pierard, sing Mozart and Handel while we signed the register and a friend gave us a trumpeter as a wedding present, so we had the full Trumpet Voluntary as we walked down the aisle at the end.

Then the evening reception was a ceilidh, a Scottish barn dance, so there were fiddles and accordions and everyone danced for hours. My bridesmaid and I had put on a dance class for all our English friends who were coming to the wedding—as Scots, we were brought up on these dances—but the only person who didn’t turn up (because he was playing cricket two hundred miles away) was the groom himself! But not knowing the dances didn’t stop him on the day, he danced every one! I think the image of Perryn on our wedding day that will stick with me forever was him on the dance floor, shirt untucked, pouring with sweat, dancing like a maniac. We all had such a good time!

Perryn: What fantastic fun the whole day was – it was the first time my family and friends had met my theater friends and they all got on so well. We had a ceilidh band and we all did Scottish Country Dancing and it was a riot. Honestly an event that fully lived up and beyond the expectation.

What’s your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?

Caroline: Love, of course, but underpinned by tolerance, patience and friendship.

Perryn: The best advice I can give is to make sure that you start off with finding the right person. This seems obvious but if the person you are with is your emotional and intellectual equal, you share the same sense of humour and the spark of friendship and attraction is there then it becomes much harder to screw it up! People talk about working hard at a marriage and by that I think that they mean that you should not take your partner for granted—and that is not easy (but is hardly work!)

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?

Caroline: To be honest, looking at our wedding photo now—from eighteen years, three children, four houses, three cities, one continent later—I barely recognize either Perryn or myself. We look so young and excited. I am very glad that no one told us that day what the next eighteen years would bring, I think I would have been frightened witless! I suppose, it’s like having a baby, all the fuss is made of the wedding day/the baby’s birth, but some thought really should have been given to the hard work which comes after. Because holding a marriage together amid all the pressures of careers, money, children, in-laws etc, can be hard work. Of course, it’s great fun too, but can sometimes feels like you are riding a roller-coaster with a blindfold on—you never can tell what exhilarating sheer drop or long hard climb is just round the corner.

But, since my parents are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, we have some solid role models to look to for the next 32 years of our marriage!

Perryn: I don’t care who tells you differently—You can never know on your wedding day that you have found the right person. I never knew how strong we would need to be with the challenges that we have faced, but when we were thrust into a situation that no one could see coming we both had no doubts about how we would deal with those challenges—together and as a team. I guess that means we found the right partner!

Emily & Tom • July 3, 2004

2011-07-14T08:00:00.003-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

From Emily...

On what day were you married?
July 3rd, 2004

What do you remember most from your wedding day?
I know I'm supposed to say “The look on Tommy's face when I walked down the aisle” or “our first dance as a married couple” or something. But really, the thing I will always remember is the dessert table at the reception. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It was an all-you-can-eat endless buffet of cream puffs shaped like swans, chocolate covered fruit, cakes, cannolis, cheesecake, fondue fountains, and more. It was the first time I ever tasted creme brûlée. I packed up a huge to-go box of sweets and ate it for breakfast the next day.
(I just asked Tommy what he remembers most, and he said “I just remember being really busy.” How romantic.)

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Yikes. I'm not sure. But I think these things help:
•Fart jokes
•A wiener dog
•Separate checking accounts
•Cold indifference
But really, I think if you respect each other you can build a strong marriage. Love is great, but respect can do wonders. We are one of those annoying couples that have never had a fight. (Oh, we disagree PLENTY, but we never really fight.) I think it is because we respect each other as individuals. We are best friends before anything else. (The items in my list are very helpful as well, though.)

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
We lived together for quite a while before we got married, so we both knew what we were getting into. Bathroom habits and all. (And yet, we still went through with it.) Tommy wishes he had known I wouldn't be a blonde for very long. Good thing he didn't know, or he might have gotten cold feet. Now he is stuck with a brunette. I guess it is a good sign that I can't really think of anything else.

Kathy & Paul • April 5, 1986

2011-07-13T08:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

From Kathy...

On what date did you get married?
April 5, 1986

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Great music, a boiling hot day in the desert, my grandmother hauling one of those ancient early video cameras around, and a long party in a friend's backyard with Paul's band playing.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
1. Expect change, welcome it, be brave. "For better or worse" is about the biggest thing you can say. Circumstances will change, you will change. Staying open to and aware of that is important.

2. Words matter, every single one of them.

3. You should like each other a lot. That seems obvious but I do think it's underestimated!

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?

Can I answer "everything"? We didn't know anything when we got married—we were quite young and had the great good fortune to grow up together. Discovering our shared life—that's the marriage. I thought marriage would be a support and consolation to me, which it certainly has been. but that view was unsurprisingly self-centered. I did not realize that it would be the most delightful way to practice living, all the wonderful and terrible parts of it, and to practice steadfastness and courage. Better, worse, sickness, health, richer, poorer—everybody experiences all of that in life, married or not. I'm grateful to have the chance to walk the long road with a partner. It certainly has been way more interesting than anything I could have come up with on my own!

Tonya & Ryan • May 30, 2004

2011-07-12T08:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
We were married May 30, 2004, in Central Park in NYC, it was Memorial Day weekend.

What do you remember most about your wedding?
Ryan: She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Tonya: There are many moments that stand out with our wedding for me. The overall feeling was of celebration. I remember the reception was a ton of fun, though I don't remember many details of the party. I remember my Mom helping me with my dress and her crying about her hair not looking the way she wanted it to. I remember my Grandma and Ryan's Grandma were at the wedding. I remember walking into central park while strangers took my photo and a little girl shouting out "Happy Wedding Day," which is something I now do to anyone I see getting married. I remember that there was an African Drum event going on not too far away and they provided an unexpected sound track to the ceremony. I remember how beautiful my bridesmaids looked. I remember our friend and photographer telling me that some people wearing Monkey masks were hiding up in the tree where our ceremony was going to be held. I thought this was joke, it wasn't. I remember walking towards Ryan and he looked so handsome and so satisfied, pleased that the plans were through and that it was finally time to get married.
When I think about my wedding it was wonderful, beautiful and we had so much fun, and at the time it was the best day of my life. However, now that we have a life together many other days have eclipsed the happiness I felt then and I know that there is more to come. Our wedding was a truly a beginning.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Ryan: Talk about EVERYTHING and be gentle with each others feelings. These two things are often opposing forces. 100 percent honesty, for real. Always be faithful, ALWAYS. Sounds obvious, but from the many unhappily married people I know, infidelity is an epidemic. Enjoy each other as often as possible. Grow and evolve together, you will not be the same person tomorrow as you are today, nor 10 years from now, nor 50 years. Neither will your partner. Change is a part of life, and it's certainly a part of marriage. Also, only get married if you really mean it.

Tonya:
*Talk to your partner. Make sure that you really want to be with that person before you get married and then talk with them. Talk all the time. Discuss everything, that way when something important comes up you know how they feel and you are in the habit of talking about it first.
*Have a plan for money, have a plan before you have a wedding. Money can be a real problem for most couples. We don't fight about money because we made a plan for ourselves before we were married and now it's just our way to follow the plan and there are no fights at all. We worry about money sometimes, sure, but it isn't a fight.
*Don't lie and don't cheat. Ryan knows I'll never leave him and never cheat and I know he'd never cheat and won't ever leave us either. Now that the worst case scenario is over we can get down to what really matters. Fighting is different with someone that you know wants to spend their whole life with you. I don't hurt him and he doesn't hurt me and then we make up quicker too.
* When you fight, remember being right isn't as important as being together.
* Don't spend more time with your families than you can handle. We have a 72-hour rule and it's pretty accurate.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Ryan: Not really. I think the process of learning more about Tonya and myself and our lives has been a great discovery. I think all the things I've learned over the years have been learned at their own time. We were naive and we had a big dream and that's exactly how it was supposed to be.

Tonya: I don't think I have anything I'd tell that girl who married Ryan 7 years ago. Maybe just Enjoy it. Enjoy the party. Enjoy the wedding. Enjoy being young and in love. Kiss often. Love your babies. Don't worry so much. Be there in real time with your whole heart and it will all be worth it.

Laurel & Hinrich (aka Mama & Papa Bossy) • February 18, 1974

2011-07-11T07:00:00.002-04:00

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
Monday, February 18, 1974

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Hinrich: When we got back to our apartment in the evening, we couldn’t get in, because I had given the keys to my mother before the ceremony. We had to get a taxi to my parents’ house—the last bus had gone—and retrieve the keys.

Laurel: This is also what I remember most. We were making jokes about him carrying me over the threshold when we realized he had no key.

What is your advice for a happy and successful marriage?
Laurel:
1) Having and sharing sense of humor. A sense of humor is essential to enjoying life and coping with problems generally and it is even more powerful when you can share it.
2) Being interested in each others’ interests. Not necessarily sharing the same interests from the outset, but choosing to be interested. That way you always have each other to talk to about things that matter to you.

Hinrich: Getting along without trying to remodel each other.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Laurel: The best part of a relationship is discovering it together.

Hinrich: There probably are things I know now that I didn’t know before, but I don’t wish I had known them before. Knowing everything doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage; willingness to learn and adjust will make the marriage grow.

Happy Wedding Weekend!

2011-07-08T16:51:00.000-04:00

So what are you lovely people up to this summer weekend? I was thinking of heading to the top of a hill overlooking Vienna and marrying by best friend surrounded by our loved ones. Then maybe I'll eat a delicious meal holding my husband's hand and delighting in the laughter of our incredible friends. This has been a week to remember, the week of a lifetime, and it all culminates in tomorrow's glorious celebration.

Sunday we hop on an overnight train to Italy, where we'll honeymoon in contented seclusion for the better part of two weeks, after which we'll have five days to pack up our belongings and our cat and fly across the world on a new adventure. I don't plan on spending any time on the computer, so I've put together a little marriage-related content for you while I'm gone. I've asked various happily married couples I know to share with you their memories and insights marriage, and I'll be posting one couple a day for the next few weeks.

When I sat down to plan this project, I was pleasantly surprised by how very many happy marriages I knew right off the top of my head. I'm so pleased to share with you their thoughts, which I have found so moving and inspiring.

Hope your weekend is full of love. xoxo LMB

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

2011-07-01T11:45:00.000-04:00

What are you lovely people up to on this 3-day weekend? Barbecues? Strawberry shortcake? Fireworks? For us, of course, it's not so much a holiday weekend as it is the Weekend Before Our Wedding! Our first guest arrived yesterday, and the parents all get in on Sunday (on 3 separate flights—we'll be getting to know the City Airport Train quite well). It's all happening! As of today, CM and I have been together 3 1/2 years. Might as well sign on for life, I say.

Some linky goodness for your weekend:

I can't get enough of these cinemagraphs by Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg. Beautiful.

This is what we're drinking at cocktail hour this week, with the Pimm's CM bought me in London.

Mildly unsuitable for work, this series makes me laugh. I especially like this one, and it's perfect for Canada Day because it stars Nathan Fillion (aka Castle).

I picked up some of this in Paris, and I love it! Thanks for the hot tip, Gwyneth.

The perfect quinoa salad. I like to use double the sweet potato and half the scallions.

Papa Bossy sent me this sweet picture he took of their couch. Isn't it funny? It truly is cat safari at their place.

Hope your weekend is full of fresh berries, family picnics, and sparklers! xoxo LMB

Paris: The Swag

2011-06-28T15:42:00.000-04:00

Paris wasn't all decadent meals, and bike rides along the Seine, and me taking pictures of CM taking pictures. We also did a wee bit of shopping. We could have done so much more, but we managed to restrain ourselves. Sort of.

As a tourist, you might not stumble upon BHV (which stands for Bazar de l'Hôtel de Ville), but I encourage you to reserve at least an hour for this massive department store. We wandered through like starving people at a buffet—there is just nothing remotely like this in Vienna. There are departments for just about anything you can thing of, ranging from automotive to bedding to jewelry. We bought up such myriad items as crafting supplies, a bunch of these prints for our kitchen (don't you love them?), a wedding guestbook, and I picked up some honeymoon lingerie (ahem). We couldn't stay too long without getting overwhelmed, but it was glorious while it lasted.

I long to look like a French girl, so I picked up an adorable blue and white striped summer dress and Les Tropeziennes sneakers. It's a start...

While wandering through Le Marais, we found this shop/gallery, which sells original art in small sizes. We bought the sweetest little painting. I can't wait to find a place for it.

And now for la pièce de resistance (aka The Most Ridiculous Souvenir Ever):

We must have walked by the window of Pylones (one of my favorite shops in Paris, but there are actually a few in NYC, too) a dozen times and seen this Eiffel Tower Nespresso pod holder. We started out joking about it, and then slowly the joking turned into reality, and on our last day we walked in and bought it. It came in an enormous box which we had to carry onto the plane back home. I can only imagine what the Security personnel thought as it went through the x-ray. I have to say, I know it's silly and beyond tacky, but it puts a smile on my face pretty much every time I walk into the kitchen.

Arguably the best things we bought in Paris were a tiny lock and a permanent marker, to continue our tradition. We added ours to a vast collection just across the river from Nôtre-Dame. I hope we do this all our lives.

Photo by CameraMan

And a close-up by me

I think it's safe to make this official:

~~44. Go to Paris with CameraMan.~~

Bossy Book Club

2011-06-27T13:59:00.002-04:00

I've been reading up a storm lately, mostly in the bath. As exciting as life is these days, sometimes it's nice to dive into the lives of characters who aren't planning a wedding or a transcontinental move (oops, spoiler alert… more on that soon, I promise). Here are my recent faves.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
I love World War II stories, but most of what I've read and seen has dealt exclusively with the European War. This is a biography of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic runner who joined the Air Force in 1941 and ended up a POW in Japan. This was a recommendation from a friend, and I'm so glad I listened. Zamperini's life story is epic and inspirational, and this book was impossible to put down.

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin by Erik Larson
Larson wrote one of my favorite books of all time, The Devil in the White City, so I bought his new book (another World War II-related read) as soon as it came out. He has a talent for making non-fiction as compelling and readable as any novel. This one is a portrait of Berlin in the years leading up to the war, through the eyes of the bookish American ambassador (as well as his slutty daughter, who was, um, "special friends" with half the upper-level Nazis). I loved it.

The Moviegoer by Walker Percy
I picked this one up because it's on this list, which I'm reading for #76 on the Bossy List. This book reads like a classic, which I guess it is, although I have to admit I had never previously heard of either the book or its author. It's a small story, but ambitious in its own way. I was fascinated by the quirky philosopher of a narrator, and it felt like the kind of book I might return to every few years. I'm glad I discovered it as an adult instead of being assigned to read it in school.

I'm stocking my Kindle for the first week of the honeymoon, which we are planning to spend in unending laziness. What should I make sure not to miss?

Happy weekend!

2011-06-25T02:17:00.001-04:00

My dearests, what are you up to this weekend? CM and I are heading out of town (again) for a couple nights. We got a Groupon (Vienna has Groupon!) for this hotel a couple hours away. Doesn't it look magical? The Groupon includes dinner and breakfast both days, and we're planning to relax, get work done, and maybe go for a hike or two. I might even get a massage while we're there. Heaven.

A few links for your weekend:

This is what we're drinking for cocktail hour tonight. It's mildly labor-intensive, but totally worth it. Make sure you shake it enough so it gets frothy. Yum.

We're having a flower girl at our wedding, and although I'm not picky about what she wears, I've been looking around the web for ideas. There are so many cute dresses out there for little girls!! Look at this one. And this one. And this one! Do they come in my size?

Camera bags for girls! Although I'm still loyal to mine.

This is everything that's awesome about marriage. Amazing.

Is there anyone funnier on the internet than The Bloggess? Show them to me now, please. I have now read this post three times and also stared at CM while he read it once. I have died laughing every time.

Here is a completely candid, not posed at all picture of CM eating a macaron in Paris.

Hope your weekend is full of lazy days, pink cocktails, and caprese salad! xoxo LMB

Paris: The Food

2011-06-24T14:21:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I realized that the time for me to get in shape for the wedding has come and gone without me changing my diet or exercise routine in any way (at least not in the right direction—perhaps I have increased my pastry consumption). At this point, since I have only two weeks(!) left, there seem to be only two options: 1) go on a drastic deprivation starvation diet and begin working out like a fiend, or 2) accept that on my wedding day I will probably look exactly like I do today and start looking for the Austrian version of Spanx.

Guess which I'm choosing?

I take some comfort in the firm knowledge that when I'm looking back at the wedding pictures, while I may be wishing I had thrown in a few push-ups in the months leading up to the big day, I will certainly not be regretting a single morsel of food that passed my lips in Paris. People, I guess everyone knows this already, but damn the Parisians know how to eat. Forthwith, my faves from the trip:

Breakfast
Breakfast in Paris means pastries, obvs, and the best pastries we had were at Boulangerie des Deux Ponts on the Île Saint-Louis. There was a bakery right across from our hotel, so we started there, but they're closed on Tuesdays, which is why I turned to Google Maps for a nearby alternative. In Europe, Google Maps can be highly frustrating in its huge gaps of information, particularly regarding individual businesses, but in this particular instance it served us very well, serving up the best croissant amande I've ever had.

Lunch
If you go to Les Cocottes de Christian Constant for lunch (and you should, immediately), I recommend replicating the experience of the posh Frenchwoman sitting next to us with a gentleman friend. Sit at the bar, start with a glass of champagne, and don't even glance at the menu. Instead, order the appetizer (entrée, confusingly, in French) du jour, the cocotte du jour (a single-serving casserole—this is when you switch to red wine) and hell, why not, the dessert du jour. I don't think you can go wrong. Then, don't be shy, finish every course with gusto—none of this "leave one bite on your plate" nonsense. After dessert, continue your conversation over an espresso (what you'll get in Paris if you order a café). Ignore the admiring stares from the Americans next to you.

Snacks
I'm not ashamed to tell you that we visited Ladurée two days in a row on our trip. From the look of every single pastry at the counter, I don't think you could go wrong ordering anything there, but we stuck with the macarons, which are famous for a reason. Oh, they're heavenly. And armed only with the phrase "Je veux prendre..." and the ability to count up to eight, you can even impress your date by ordering in French.

Pistache, chocolat, cassis, citron

Dinner
Based on Jordan's recommendation, we made a reservation for dinner at Refuge les Fondus in Montmartre. The food was great (although were we to go back we would order the meat fondue instead of the cheese—we were very envious of our neighbors' meal), but to be honest, I don't think it's our place. It's very crowded, which is part of its charm, I guess, but the night we went it was crowded almost exclusively with Americans, except for the Québécois couple sitting next to us who clearly were no more interested in getting to know us than we were in them. They serve their wine in baby bottles, which is undoubtedly quite entertaining. Still, hands down the best dinner we had in Paris was a bed picnic of fresh bread, oozy Brie, and red wine in plastic cups. You could do a lot worse.

Dessert
Whenever I told anyone we were going to stay on the Île Saint-Louis, they invariably mentioned Berthillon, which is arguably the best ice cream in the world. What with the rain and the cold, we didn't make it there until the last day, but oh, we were glad we did. I had wild strawberry and rhubarb flavors. It tasted exactly like summer.

Boulangerie des Deux Ponts • 35 Rue des Deux Ponts, 75004 Paris • Métro: Pont Marie

Les Cocottes de Constant • 135 Rue Saint-Dominique, 75007 Paris • Métro: Alma-Marceau

Ladurées • 16 Rue Royal, 75008 Paris • Métro: Concorde

Refuge des Fondus • 17 Rue des Trois-Freres, 75018 Paris • Métro: Abbesses

Berthillon • 29-31 Rue Saint Louis en L'ile, 75004 Paris • Métro: Pont Marie

Castle

2011-06-23T17:58:00.000-04:00

Adorable print from here

CM and I love to watch TV shows on the computer in bed before we go to sleep. Our latest obsession is Castle, a fun crime show about a mystery writer (Castle) who shadows a homicide detective (Beckett) during her investigations. There's lots of romantic/sexual tension and witty banter à la romantic comedies from the '40s. Plus gruesome and intriguing murder story lines. We love it. We talk about Castle and Beckett like they are our real friends, and we're even developing a (patent pending) drinking game to play while watching.

Only trouble is, we have now watched every episode of Castle that exists (3 seasons), and we need something else to watch before bed. What TV shows are you enjoying? I'm leaning toward picking another crime show, but I'm open to any and all suggestions. What have you got for us?

Nerd alert

2011-06-19T06:30:00.013-04:00

I have something terribly important to discuss with you.

Have you seen this?

Apparently J.K. Rowling is making a big Potter-related announcement at 12 noon London time on Thursday, June 23. The publisher says it's not a new book (BOO!), but there are plenty of theories to go around. I particularly like this one.

What do you think? What will it be? And will you get up early on Thursday to find out?

I am somewhat unreasonably excited about this. Don't judge.

How to survive your vacation without shouting at your spouse in public

2011-06-18T13:10:00.004-04:00

We were going through security at Sainte-Chapelle when the woman in front of us had a breakdown. The chapel is housed in a complex that also includes a working courthouse, so you have to go through airport-level security to get in. We had been eavesdropping on the American family of four (goofy Dad, somewhat frazzled Mom, smart-alecky college-age Daughter, dorky high school Son) in front of us during the relatively long wait, and they seemed to be having a good time. Mom was explaining the concept of organ donation to Son, Daughter was rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Dad was cracking lame jokes about selling Son's organs on the black market. You know, the usual.

Things went south very quickly when the security guards attempted to confiscate Mom's corkscrew. Dad was still on the other side emptying his pockets and removing his belt when Mom started yelling at him. "THEY'RE TAKING MY CORKSCREW! WE NEED IT FOR OUR PICNIC!", quickly morphing into "I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME HERE AND NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENS!", ending with an emphatic, exasperated "THANKS A LOT, MARK!" * before she stormed off (sans corkscrew, I might add). Dad, Daughter, and Son looked shell-shocked.

A little later, CM turned to me and said, "I hope I never end up yelling at you and our kids in a crowded public place." "Me too," I said. "But I know I will," he added. "Probably," I said, "and I probably will, too. We'll get through it."

There's no way around it: traveling is stressful. It's easy for tempers to flare and moods to rollercoaster when you're hot, and tired, and thirsty, and not sure where you're going, and you've just been French-waitered** for the tenth time in a row.

CM and I are still figuring out how to travel together. That's not a euphemistic way of saying we're terrible at it, like when my report cards used to say "Louisa is still working on staying quiet in class when the teacher is talking." But traveling together is very different from traveling solo, and we're discovering with each trip what makes us happy and what invariably makes us grumpy.

I've put together a few guidelines of what seems to be working for us so far.

Smaller is better
The worst choice we made on our trip (possibly in our whole lives) was to go to the Louvre. Oh, it's a beautiful museum which houses a breathtaking collection, and I'm sure we would have absolutely loved it, if we had been on a private tour. We were not, however. We were there on a normal morning in mid-June, and this was mostly what we saw.

Just looking at this picture gives me a stress headache

We lasted barely an hour. I for one will not be back any time soon. Thank goodness for the small delights of Paris, like the Orangerie, which just might be my favorite place in the world.

Much better, no?

I also prefer Sainte-Chapelle to Notre Dame and the Museum of Modern Art to the Pompidou. We loved our charming, tiny hotel on the charming, tiny Île St-Louis. The one Parisian exception to this rule is of course BHV, one of the most enormous stores I have seen, through which we wandered quite happily for longer than we lasted in the Louvre.

Plan ahead
We struggle a bit with making decisions in the moment about what to do next, so it helps us to make some plans beforehand. Before we left, I bought us short-term Vèlib subscriptions and boat ride tickets. I also downloaded this guide to help us focus our energies, since we there so briefly. We asked our hotel concierge to make us a dinner reservation at a fun fondue restaurant we'd read about in the guide. We are the King and Queen of Talking About Things and Then Never Doing Them, so having tickets and reservations for things helps us immensely to follow through on our plans.

But be flexible
Because of work schedules, our trips tend to be relatively short, so we like to always say, "We'll be back." It takes so much pressure off when you don't feel like you have to do and see every single thing. For example, I wish we had been able to reserve Eiffel Tower lift tickets in advance, but by the time we tried they were already sold out, and we were too daunted by the lines to do it day of. No problem—we'll be back. We also didn't get lucky with the weather on our trip. It was chilly and rainy most of the time, and we didn't really pack the right clothes. I had pictured us having a lot of picnics in various parks, even going so far as to bring a picnic blanket with us, but the weather just never cooperated. Solution: bed picnics.

This Brie is NOTHING like what we find in US grocery stores. And in the background? Beignets!

Finding the right balance between plans and flexibility seems to be the key to vacation nirvana. We're definitely still working on it (okay, that time it might have been a euphemism).

Find your places
No matter how many guide books you read, the places you remember the best are the ones you stumbled upon yourself. I think it's important, anywhere you go, to find YOUR places, the ones you'll revisit next time and recommend to all your friends. We'll be recommending Les Cocottes de Constant to anyone visiting Paris (although to give credit where credit is due, Anthony Bourdain found it before we did), and congratulating ourselves for finding the Van Dongen exhibit and the Dufy room at the Museum of Modern Art. Those are our places now.

Oh, for all the plans we make and guidelines we follow, I know there will come a day when we will be standing in a public place, in a city that is not our own, shouting at each other over something as seemingly mundane as a corkscrew. We'll say ridiculous things, some of which might end up as running jokes in someone else's marriage.

We'll survive.

*In the retelling of this story, CM is fond of changing this last line to "THANKS FOR RUINING PARIS, MARK!" and my version includes "I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, MARK!" While we find both quite entertaining, neither is entirely accurate.

**A couple of my friends coined this verb for when a person, usually a French waiter, deliberately misunderstands something you say because you haven't pronounced it exactly right. CM got French-waitered when he tried to order a Perrier. Honestly.

Mashups

2011-06-17T08:25:00.002-04:00

Okay, I know mash-ups (putting two songs together to create something new) are, like, SO Glee Season One, but I was at our favorite café yesterday, and I heard this. I thought it was so cool I had to share it.

Then CM brought this one to my attention:

I love them! Do you have any favorite mashups?

Paris by iPhone

2011-06-16T07:30:00.000-04:00

We just got back from 4 glorious days in Paris, and I thought it might be fun to show you some of the iPhone shots I took, while I'm going through and editing the ones from my big-girl camera. Sometimes it's so much easier to just whip out my iPhone, especially when it's raining, or my bag is full of water bottles and maps sitting on top of my camera, or I'm just tired. I generally use the Hipstamatic app—anybody have any suggestions for others to try? You can click any of the pictures to see them bigger.

On the RER train from the airport

Bird whisperer in the Tuileries

CM living up to his name...

...even in the rain

Rainy street by Notre-Dame

Elevator button in our hotel

Wine in baby bottles—that's normal, right?

Tour Eiffel, obvs. View from the Trocadero

Enjoying the best ice cream in Paris


Moules frites

If you're in the mood for more, check out my photos and posts from last time.

Ah, Paris...

Louisa at the Icon

2011-05-26T14:57:00.000-04:00

Did you read Eloise as a child? It was one of my very favorite books from a childhood full of excellent books. It's told from the perspective of the incomparable Eloise, a little girl who lives full-time at the Plaza Hotel in New York. What could be more glamorous?

Even as an adult, I have a great love of hotels. I still stay in them (especially the nice ones) rarely enough that it seems special every time. I go nuts for complimentary mini toiletries, unlimited cable (watched from bed, no less—so decadent), and don't even get me started on the glories of room service.

So I was quite excited when I found out that during my stay in Houston I would be put up at the Hotel Icon. For TWO WEEKS. And it was all I could have hoped for and more. I highly recommend the Icon for your next stay in Houston. They upgraded me to a deluxe room upon arrival, which featured a view over downtown Houston, an enormous comfy bed, and a giant bathtub with JETS. I've never taken so many baths in my life. My room was beautiful in every detail, and I felt so well taken care of during my entire stay.

I'm thinking that it is entirely possible that the key to my complete and utter happiness is daily maid service. Also, a bar downstairs doesn't hurt.

Can that be arranged?

Wedding Wednesday: Engagement photos

2011-05-25T03:57:00.000-04:00

Oh, hello there. Are you still here? Lots has been happening over here. I've been to Houston, gone on safari, remounted Butterfly, and happily reunited with my CameraMan and my Bossy Cat, and all of a sudden May is almost over and we're getting married in 6 weeks. Ack!

Last month we met with our wedding photographer Paola (find her here, here, and here) for an engagement shoot at the Prater, where we got engaged. It was a great opportunity for us to get to know her (and vice versa, of course). As I'm sure you can imagine, choosing a photographer was one of our most important wedding decisions, and I'm so happy with how the pictures turned out!

That's the Riesenrad in the background!

All photos copyright Pink Pixel Photography. Please do not use or modify in any way without express permission.

Big day

2011-05-02T16:51:00.001-04:00

We woke this morning to the news of Bin Laden's death, learned through dozens of Facebook updates rather than in real time. We turned on the news and heard sound bites of the president's speech, and saw clips of our fellow Americans rejoicing in the streets. My first reaction was "Ick." I haven't become much more articulate since then.

Thank goodness for others who have.

Best article of the day: David Sirota at Salon.com
"This is bin Laden’s lamentable victory: He has changed America’s psyche from one that saw violence as a regrettable-if-sometimes-necessary act into one that finds orgasmic euphoria in news of bloodshed."

Best quote of the day: Martin Luther King, Jr. some 44 years ago
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

UPDATE: So, it turns out the internet done me wrong and the above quote was partially mis-attributed. I of course meant Dr. King no disrespect, and this quote, mish-mash that it is, still elegantly encompasses my feelings on the situation.

Happy weekend!

2011-04-29T16:02:00.000-04:00

Well, the Royal Wedding was all I could have hoped for and more (the dress! the choir! the coaches!). I loved it all, and it was even better with tea, scones, finger sandwiches, and running commentary from the peanut gallery (aka our couch). I am ready for the weekend! What are you all up to, lovely readers? Tomorrow is CM's opening night, which is sold out (yay! but boo! I wanted to go). If the weather's nice on Sunday, I think we'll ride bikes to the zoo. I'm ready to see it when I'm in no danger of freezing.

In the meantime...

Jillian will always be my #1, but at the moment I'm addicted to Tracy Anderson. You can find lots of her workouts on YouTube—I swear my abs look better after doing this one TWICE. CM concurs.

Oh, the pretty.

Have you tried Martha Stewart's Grocery Bag feature? She gives you ideas for weekly menus, and then a printable grocery list for each one! I like the look of this one.

We discovered a new store in our neighborhood tonight, and ended up buying up vases, candle holders, and sweet little wood bowls to hold our rings on our bedside tables. I can't find pictures of any of those on their website, but look at these adorable animal cups!

I know you probably haven't looked at it in forever, but I'm just about caught up with my 365 project, and I'd love you to check out my latest photos. I'm 114 photos in!

Here's a picture of a gorgeous breakfast I had the other day at Haas & Haas. Isn't it beautiful? The little dishes hold honey and chopped chives, respectively.

Wills and Kate (plus LMB)

2011-04-28T15:42:00.000-04:00

Soooo... will you be watching the Royal Wedding tomorrow? I know for most of you, doing so would mean an EXTREMELY early wake-up time, and although I am quite excited about it, I am probably not 4am excited. I am, however, definitely 12 noon excited, which is when the wedding will begin Vienna time.

I'm having a couple girlfriends over for tea, finger sandwiches, and scones while we switch back and forth between CNN and BBC (and maybe an Austrian channel or two for Deutsch practice). I'm thinking of wearing a dress, and I will not be wearing a hat ONLY because the ones I own are either made of stretchy wool or have the names of baseball teams emblazoned on them.

I've been reading lots of trivia about the wedding, as have you. (If you say you haven't, I will call you a liar. Or maybe you don't have internet. But then how are you reading this blog? No, the only explanation is that you're lying.) I especially enjoyed this article about British weddings, which happens to be written by a friend of mine from elementary school. I'm fascinated that British bridesmaids are generally children. That must make for some awkward bachelorette parties.

I'm looking forward to the dress, the crowds, and the general spectacle of the thing. Plus, I've been wondering what to do with that extra £20 million we've got floating around in the wedding budget, so I'll be taking notes, of course.

Image via Notonthehighstreet.com

Wedding Wednesday

2011-04-27T13:56:00.000-04:00

I've discovered a new loophole for daytime drinking, besides the obvious ones (brunch, tailgating, cruises). It's tasting wines for your wedding reception, an activity I didn't know existed before today and now count among my favorites. Actually, wedding planning in general has magically become something I love to do, now that people are beginning to RSVP and most of the big decisions have been made. It also helps that I swore off reading wedding blogs cold turkey (there are currently 388 wedding-related posts languishing in my Google Reader), because for some reason I was feeling overwhelmed by them.

Today's meeting at our reception venue went exceedingly well, and I don't think that's just the wine talking. I'm saving most of the wedding plans to share with you after it's all over (July 9th is the big day, by the way), at which point you'll be inundated with every little detail and many many pictures, but I will say our reception is being held at a restaurant around the corner from our apartment. Our meeting was with the manager and the head chef, and they were so flexible and accommodating that I left completely elated. They've prepared an incredible menu for us of food that promises to be more delicious and more exciting than any wedding food I've ever had, and on top of that, if somebody doesn't see anything they like, the chef will just, you know, make something else, no big deal. Oh, and they'll set the tables however we want, and they'll organize the flowers, and they'll load our favorite music into their sound system, and there's a piano there, and outdoor and indoor spaces, and we can stay as long as we want, and come any time beforehand to decorate. Also, they trust us, I guess, so they don't need a deposit (a strange and fascinating policy that seems to be held by most of the people we're dealing with about the wedding).

Oh, and when we asked about a fish they had on our wedding menu (that we've never had before), the chef took us back to the kitchen to show it to us, and it was so fresh it was still wriggling when he picked it up.

Yeah, I'm pretty excited.

Frohe Ostern!

2011-04-25T07:47:00.000-04:00

It's been a nonstop, four-day vacation over here in Wien. CM had Friday through Monday off from work, so I've been pretending that his only job is to hang out with and entertain me. It's been going well. We've balanced indoor time of the lazy afternoon movie-watching variety with adventurous exploration time consisting of long walks (and a bike ride!) around parts of the city we don't know as well.

Yesterday we had friends over for Easter brunch, for which I made Mama Bossy's Braided Loaf (delicious as ever) and Smitten Kitchen's Spinach and Egg Strata (RECOMMEND). We bought good dark bread from our favorite bakery and laid out an assortment of cheeses, meats, spreads, and veggies. Nobody left hungry. I think this is my new favorite way to host brunch—one hot dish that can be prepared the night before, and everything else bought at the market. Oh, and our friend Laus will need to always be invited, because he makes the very best crispy bacon, and bacon is a must for brunch.

Since it's our first Easter here, we didn't know quite what to expect, but it turns out Austria does the usual basket/bunny routine. I even saw jelly beans in the store alongside the many chocolate eggs. I did take pictures of the few special holiday things that made it into our apartment.


Bunny buns from our bakery. The crunchy sugary ears were especially delicious.

Bunny cookies. Not nearly as yummy as they looked, sadly.

Our grocery store carried these dyed eggs in the case with the other eggs. I medium-boiled them to eat in cups at brunch. I couldn't remember ever seeing these in an American grocery store, but I love them!

I hope you all had a fabulous Easter!

Loving/Craving

2011-04-20T14:29:00.000-04:00

Today I'm

LOVING my 6€ H&M sunglasses. I lost my signature green sunglasses somewhere around the end of last summer, and I haven't been able to bring myself to replace them. Until we got to Vegas, that is, where the sun was so bright I complained pretty much constantly about my lack of proper eyewear. I found the perfect pair at H&M yesterday! And, if I lose these ones, I won't be heartbroken because they were cheap cheap cheap.

CRAVING gelato. Non-stop. Except that CM tells me we're on a diet to be hot for the wedding, and he's "keeping me honest" by not caving into my Acme anvil-sized hints about stopping at every Zanoni & Zanoni we pass. My favorite thing to order at German ice cream cafés of my youth was the Spaghettieis, vanilla ice cream made to look like spaghetti, with strawberry sauce (marinara) and coconut or almonds (parmesan) on top. I'm obviously MUCH too sophisticated for that now (ahem), but maybe I'll sneak away this week for a cone when CM's at work.

Burggarten, Monday, 6:30pm

2011-04-19T11:05:00.000-04:00

The problem with a 365 project (yes, I'm still doing that, if you can believe it) is the potential it has to take all joy and fun out of photography. You lug your camera around all day in the hopes of being inspired, and then all of a sudden you're on your way home at 11pm and you realize you haven't taken a picture yet that day. It's cold and windy, you're tired of photographing your same old neighborhood, and you settle for yet another half-hearted iPhone snap with a shake of the Hipstamatic app. Or (and maybe this is even worse), something catches your eye and you ARE inspired, so you take a few shots, decide at least one will be good enough, and then you immediately turn off your photographer's eye because you've already gotten your shot for the day. And before you know it, it's been a month since you really enjoyed being behind the lens.

If you're lucky, just when you get to that point, a change of season and a change of scenery will intervene, and you'll end up wandering through the Burggarten just before sunset to inconspicuously photograph strangers with your telephoto lens. And you'll remember why you started the project in the first place, to document this charmed year in your charmed life.

You'll walk away full to bursting with inspiration, and you won't be able to stop the sappy feelings that wash over you, like a deep love for the breadth of human experiences going on in just one park on just one night, and a desire to become both the young couple helping their toddler take her first steps, and the old couple sitting together on a park bench in companionable conversation.

You might even go back for more the very next evening.

Loving/Craving

2011-04-18T15:14:00.000-04:00

Today I'm

LOVING the apple and fennel salad from Jaleo in DC. No, we're not there, but I found the recipe and made it tonight, and it was fab (even if I haven't quite mastered the art of the mandolin slicer). I served it with good bread, Spanish cheeses, and a pile of Serrano ham. It's going to be the perfect go-to on days too hot for the oven.

CRAVING a belt to go with my bicycle dress. I'm planning to wear it for our engagement photo shoot(!) next week, and it needs a little extra something. Every single belt I own is black, apparently, so it's time for a new one. Any recommendations? I'll be wearing these new shoes that I picked up at DSW while we were in Vegas.

Right place, right time

2011-04-18T14:58:00.000-04:00

One of the best weeks in recent memory ended with an epic journey: from Vegas to Chicago, 4 hours in the Hilton at the airport, from Chicago to New York, 4 hours wandering bleary-eyed through Manhattan, New York to Vienna, and what felt like 4 hours of dragging our suitcases home from the airport (but was actually more like 1 hour). Let me say, we are very happy to be home. I get to stay here about 3 weeks this time, but I'm settling in like it's my job.

I'm home in Vienna at just the exactly right time. Our week in Vegas was hot hot hot (not that we cared, as the sun did nothing to detract from our enjoyment of our adorable niece, whose picture you will all be tiring of soon, I think), and our few hours in New York coincided with ugly, cold, wet, MISERABLE weather. We actually left and went to JFK early, just so we could get out of the mess.

Vienna, on the other hand, is like an advertisement for itself, all tulips and blooming trees and sunshine. Everyone's out enjoying the weather, and all the good things about this city are even better. The parks! The benches! The outdoor cafés! The gelato! It would be hard not to be in a good mood, despite the jet lag and the all-over body soreness.

So, I won't be wasting nearly so much time sleeping as I usually do. Instad I'll be spending as much time outside as possible, reading on park benches, exploring on a Citybike, taking long walks with CM, and throwing our windows wide open.

Spring in Vienna. What could be better?

Oh, and LOOK!

Happy happy weekend!

2011-04-08T17:50:00.000-04:00

I'm gearing up for the weekend in a big way, are you? Tomorrow's the HD Broadcast of Comte Ory (get thee to a movie theater!), and by the time it's over, CM will be here! We're seeing Mike Birbiglia tomorrow night, and then getting on a plane Sunday morning to go meet our beautiful new niece. So many exciting things happening, I don't even know what I'm most looking forward to. Oh, wait. Yes I do. I GET TO SEE CAMERAMAN TOMORROW!!!!!

Ahem.

Just in case you won't be spending your weekend mooning around gazing lovingly into your fiancé's eyes like I will, here are some links:

The talented Shanna Murray makes a monthly calendar for your computer desktop. April's is gorgeous.

I'm very excited about the Houston Ballet's new building, right across the street from the Opera.

I am completely in love with the new blog London vs. Paris. Such beautiful images.

This week I watched The Man Who Knew Too Much with Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day. Have you seen it? I loved it!

Have you ever had uni? It's sea urchin, and it's my new favorite thing to order in sushi restaurants. It tastes like nothing else I've ever eaten. Try it!

While I was home in Oregon with my folks, I took dozens of pictures of their extremely photogenic cats. This is Goldie. In a box.

Hope your weekend is filled with reunions, laughter, and outdoor cafe seating! xoxo LMB

Bossy Book Club

2011-04-04T20:00:00.002-04:00

Since the show opened, I've had far more of this lovely thing called time. Also energy. I've been experimenting with various ways of using up said time and energy, and what's been appealing to me the most lately has been reading, preferably while eating soup. (One advantage a Kindle has over a regular book is that soup can very easily be cleaned off the screen. I'm not even joking.) I've read a few books recently that I have adored, and I thought you might like to know about them so that you can read them, too.

Just Kids by Patti Smith
I'll be honest with you, I wasn't completely clear on who Patti Smith was when I started reading this book. I had a hazy "rock legend" impression of her, and a quick perusal of her Wikipedia site revealed that I had actually heard some of her songs, but I wasn't driven to read her book because of a great love of her music or anything. A friend I trust recommended the book, so I bought it. And just loved it. I was inspired by how generous Smith was to the people she wrote about, and so forgiving to all who have crossed her path. She's also a simply beautiful writer. Read this, I think you'll be inspired, too. Also, here is a picture of her at Comte Ory opening. How cool is that?

Spousonomics by Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson
This book sounds like it's going to be dry and boring; it's all about using economics theories to improve every aspect of your marriage. It turned out to be completely engaging, fascinating, and most of all, funny. Also, we (CM read it too) learned things that will have actual practical applications in our marriage, like how to divide household chores, and how to, er, keep the passion alive, if you know what I mean. You can also learn lots on the Spousonomics blog.

Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton
Oh, I love memoirs. I will probably never write one, due to my happy, uneventful childhood and subsequent happy, uneventful adulthood (also because I have a terrible memory and never kept a journal), but reading them gives me great joy. And this is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. The storytelling is gripping and the pacing is impeccable. I want to visit the author's restaurant, but mostly I just want to be best friends with her. (Gabrielle, call me.)

What books have you enjoyed lately? I'm always taking suggestions.

Incidentally, I think I can cross off a list item!

~~89. Get in the habit of reading non-fiction.~~

Happy weekend!

2011-04-01T17:24:00.001-04:00

Well, the weather outside is frightful, but you won't catch me hibernating this weekend. Tonight I'm seeing the final dress rehearsal of a new Broadway show, tomorrow's Comte Ory #3 (speaking of which, have you bought your HD tickets for April 9th yet?), and Sunday I'm hearing Die Schöne Müllerin at Alice Tully Hall. It's my last full weekend in New York until the fall! What do you have planned?

Besides checking out these links, that is:

The third issue of Matchbook is here! I'm officially obsessed. And be sure to check out their Tumblr in between issues.

My camera travels in style in this bag (in black). Now I'm craving this one so my laptop doesn't feel left out.

What do you think about the new nytimes.com paywall? I'm reserving judgment (but hoping the price goes down).

I always love WWII movies, and I heartily recommend the Dutch film Winter in Wartime. See it if it's playing near you.

I've watched this video at least once a day this week. (You're welcome.)

CM gets here a week from tomorrow, and I can hardly breathe from waiting impatiently. He's been working hard on our wedding website, and he put together a gallery of photos of us. I love this one, and it seems appropriate now that baseball season has officially started.

Hope your weekend is filled with sunshine, negronis, and brunch with people you love! xoxo LMB

Once upon a time

2011-03-31T08:03:00.000-04:00

When last we saw our heroine, she ambitiously committed to writing three pages of stream of consciousness every morning, and then was never seen or heard from again.

Here's what happened. She set her alarm 30 minutes early and diligently wrote those morning pages…for two days. And on the third day, when she awoke to her iPhone buzzing, she could think of almost nothing she wanted to do less than write down her innermost thoughts. Or anything at all, for that matter. And so she didn't. And she didn't write the next day, either. Instead, she slept that extra 30 minutes, and then she went to work, and then she came home. Some days she exercised, some days she watched television, some days she read, some days she planned her wedding, and every day she took a picture. What she didn't do, not once, was write.

Adept as she usually is at compartmentalizing, she nevertheless had difficulty quieting the voices in her head: the one comparing her to all the more talented, more prolific bloggers; and the one calling her lazy for not accomplishing anything; and most especially the one telling her that she would never have a chance of becoming a real writer if she couldn't stick to a schedule for even one week. The voices were so loud and so numerous that they easily drowned out any writing ideas, and before she knew it, a week without writing had turned into two, had turned into three.

Finally, one day, out of the blue, she decided to forgive herself. She told herself calmly and reasonably that, while enjoyable, writing took a certain amount of energy and focus. Work also took quite a bit of both. For the time being, she explained to herself, it was okay if she chose to devote her limited resources of energy and focus to the thing that paid her a salary. That didn't make her less of a writer, or less of a person; it made her better at her job.

And so, she waited. She waited until her show opened. She waited until she had taken a restful trip to visit her parents. She waited until her wedding invitations were all addressed, stamped, and sealed. She waited until her mind was quiet and clear.

And then, only then, she began to write again.

Home on the Road: Katharine Goeldner

2011-03-30T19:20:00.004-04:00

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

Photo by David Angus

I've been so looking forward to sharing the lovely mezzo-soprano Katharine Goeldner's interview with you. Katharine most recently scored a big success in Carmen at the Lyric Opera of Chicago, but in real life she is grounded, practical, and infinitely reliable. She is also my favorite expert on how to be an expat in Austria, as she's been living in Salzburg for many years.

Katharine has been freelancing on the road since 1996. This past year she was away from home even more than usual, including a 4.5-month stint away she hopes not to repeat. Here, she expounds on the benefits of socialism, the importance of picking the right husband, and how to manage a bustling career on two continents.

LMB: You have chosen to make your home in Salzburg. What brought you there in the first place, and what made you stay? What advantages and disadvantages has being based in Europe given you?

KG: I came to Salzburg for a Master's—in short, because I couldn't afford to study in the US. Tuition at American universities is ridiculously expensive. And here, the fee is approximately $400.00 per semester. That's it. And that's because I'm non-EU. Otherwise it would be free.

The biggest advantages of being based in Europe? Socialism. National health insurance (and yes, I can choose my doctors.) Baby leave: you are allowed up to 3 years of baby leave, split once between the parents if you like. The first two years are partially paid, and the third is not paid at all, but they have to keep your job open for you. A pension. Unemployment insurance.

Other advantages—I started singing in Austria and Germany at an age when my American colleagues were doing young artist programs (which I couldn't get into, by the way). It wasn't easy, but I learned German, how to negotiate contracts, stand up to administration, and that I could sing Evita (title role), Cherubino, and Angelina AND Tisbe (La Cenerentola) all in the same week and survive. I also learned how to jump into a production with no stage or orchestra rehearsal, which served me very well when I started singing at City Opera and the Met. (Two examples: I sang Nicklausse at the Met, my first time doing the role, with no stage or orchestra rehearsal. Same for Carmen at City Opera: only one day on stage and only a Sitzprobe with the orchestra).

Another advantage of living over here is that I have been able to establish myself on both sides of the ocean, which means that in this bad economy, I'm not dependent solely upon the US houses for work.

I should point out here, though, that there have been disadvantages as well. It took me years to get my foot in the door in the US because I hadn't worked with American coaches/teachers/young artist programs—so I was an unknown quantity. It was very difficult to even get heard in the US for a long time. Even now, I can tell that in certain houses, singers who have gone through their studio programs definitely have the advantage over me.

LMB: I'm always looking for advice on how to negotiate a relationship/marriage when you're apart for long periods of time. You've been married 22 years this summer(!), so you obviously have this figured out pretty well. Any tips?

KG: First tip: find an amazing guy. Besides that, Skype has been a godsend. We Skype everyday, and it's allowed me to watch my daughter open her birthday presents, for example. We used to have huge phone bills—just part of the deal, I figured—but Skype has changed that.

The hardest part, I think, is what I call "re-entry": coming home after so long away. You have to resist the temptation to try to make up for all that lost time and not try to be the perfect wife, mother, AND singer at the same time. It just isn't possible. Also, remember that they've gotten into their own routine while you've been gone. Give yourself a break, get over jet lag, and ease in gradually.

Because my husband already had his tenured position in the orchestra here when we met, we had the advantage that we weren't both trying to pursue jobs at the same time. I think it is very difficult to keep a relationship going when both partners are trying to establish music careers. One partner needs to be the steady one. In all these years, I have very rarely seen a relationship with two singers work out. Our egos are just too big and the pressure, distance, and competition eventually take their toll. I'm not saying it's impossible—just that it's very, very difficult.

LMB: Your daughter is in high school now. I'm sure singers with younger kids would love to hear your advice on how you've managed to be a parent at the same time as having your career. What has made it work for you?

KG: Basically, what's made this all work for me is that I have a really amazing husband. He's also a musician—he's a bassoonist in the Mozarteum Orchestra, here in Salzburg—so he understands better than someone not in "the business," I think, what having a singing career involves.

When my daughter was born, we sort of thought I would take her with me on the road—and I did, at the beginning. But when she was 2+ and I was starting to do bigger roles, it was clear that I really only had time and energy for rehearsing, sleeping, and eating, and not much left over to take care of a child. It didn't seem fair to her to take her away from her home, her routine, and her friends and have her dealing with yet another foreign language (she was already learning German and English, and I was singing in France a lot at the time. And remember, she was only 2 and just learning to talk.) So we opted to have her stay home with Dad, and Mom being gone was the only disruption to her routine. My husband and daughter did travel to be with me for part of the time, usually in time to see my premiere. But they would stay a week, rather than the entire 4–5 weeks of a typical gig.

Once she got into middle school/high school, it became much more difficult for her to miss school, so the length of time we're apart has actually gotten longer. Plus, my husband is in the orchestra here. So we have to plan their trips around both the school and orchestra/theater schedules. We used to aim for no more than a month apart. Now that has sometimes stretched to 2 months.

LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

KG: Hmm. That's not an easy one to answer. I guess I would have to say, and I know this sounds like a cliché, but…this is what I do, this is what I am. You have to really want to do this to make it work. If there's ANYTHING you like just as much—do that instead. This career is far too difficult if you don't "have" to do it.

That said, the occasionally really great team, wonderful piece to sing, beautiful production…sometimes it all just "clicks" and you remember, "oh yeah, THIS is why I'm here!" And interestingly enough, those moments don't necessarily occur where you think they would—in the biggest houses with the "best" casts. Some of the most fun and fulfilling productions I've been a part of have been in regional houses. And some of my most disappointing artistic experiences have been in the "big" houses.

LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

KG: One of the best bits of advice I got was from my first voice teacher. She said, "Never turn down an audition and take every gig seriously. You never know who may be listening." Now, at the point I am now at in my career, no, I don't take every possible audition. But when you're starting out, you must. I see so many young American singers these days with an attitude of Entitlement. They're "too good" to take this or that audition because the house or role "isn't good/big/glamourous enough" for them. Big mistake. This business is all about Networking, and that "unimportant" gig you turned your nose up at just might have involved a young conductor or stage director who then goes on to work in a "big" house—and you've now missed a great opportunity.

Do your work, learn your music and COME PREPARED! You would think this is a no-brainer, but the level of preparation I have seen in the past 5-6 years has sometimes been appalling. I have seen far too many young singers show up for rehearsals not having their parts memorized. It's extremely disrespectful to your colleagues and it wastes our time. And it will catch up to you. You may not get fired from this job, but you can be sure they're going to remember it when you come up for consideration for the next one.

Learn German, French, and Italian.Yesterday.

Take a business class. You're going to wish you had one when it comes to bookkeeping and taxes. Trust me on this one.

Always sing the first musical run-through and the dress rehearsal. It's your responsibility to show them that you are prepared and can sing the role. Other than that, whether or not you sing out at any given rehearsal is up to the singer—you have to get the role into your body and voice, of course. But if you're too tired or feeling like you're getting a cold, only you can judge whether or not you're in shape to sing. Don't let the conductor bully you. Because they will.

Be nice. Be humble. Don't play the diva/divo. You may think you're irreplaceable, but believe me, you're not. Even if you ARE a tenor.

A great big thank you to Katharine! You can find out much more about her at www.katharinegoeldner.com.

A Week at a Time: Morning pages

2011-03-06T21:02:00.001-05:00

Well, the evening clean-up week was a great success, except for that one night, when I took Nyquil at 8pm without thinking and fell fast asleep by 9:30. That night I did not clean the apartment. Otherwise, though, I made the effort to do it and it greatly improved the quality of my mornings. This one's a keeper.

This week my goal is to write every morning. The idea is taken from The Artist's Way, which instructs you to write three pages long-hand first thing in the morning, for your eyes only. I'm not certain that mornings are the best time for me to write, or whether long-hand is better than typing, or whether three pages will be the magic number for me, but it seems like a good place to start. I've never kept a journal with any regularity, and I'd like to start doing more writing that's not for public consumption. So often writing here leads me to some sort of catharsis, but the times in which I am most in need of that are also the times in which I tend to blog less. So... morning pages.

I'm looking forward to it. Care to join me?

Happy weekend!

2011-03-04T21:41:00.000-05:00

I frittered away this week being sick in bed (again!) every minute I wasn't at work. I'm FINALLY starting to feel like myself again, so I'm making plans for an artsy weekend, complete with a night at the opera (closing night of Iphigénie) and the lovely Joyce's Carnegie Hall debut. Also lots of sleeping. What about you? Any big plans?

In case you're stuck inside:

Two of my favorite bloggers recently moved to France for a year (oh, they happen to be sisters, too). Check out Jordan, who is living in Paris with her hubby and two kids, and Gabrielle, who is living in Normandy with her hubby and SIX kids. Jealous?

I did this with my hair today and got lots of compliments. Try it, it's so easy.

I've been meaning to tell you about this for months now. It even makes my cloudy Manhattan tap water taste delicious.

The one thing that keeps me from pretending I actually know how to cook is my amateurish knife wielding. Thank goodness for the internet: How to dice an onion.

Did you see our rings? :)

This week I became an aunt! I have to wait 5 more weeks to meet (and over-photograph) beautiful Josee, but here's a sneak peek from her birthday!

Hope your weekend is full to bursting with beautiful music making, classic cocktails, and good health! xoxo LMB

A Week at a Time: Evening clean-up

2011-02-27T23:52:00.001-05:00

My television-free week went quite well, although that might have been mostly because I was hardly home in the evenings to miss it. The nights I did stay in, I was more productive and spent lots more time reading, writing, and going through pictures. I tend to be exhausted by the time I get home, even if it's only 7:30pm, and not having the option to simply turn on a show (or four!) made me far more mindful of how I was spending my time. I think I slept better, too, although I did miss my man Jon Stewart.

This week I'm challenging myself to clean up my apartment every evening. It's such a small space (with no dishwasher, I might add) that clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink can lead to energy-sucking clutter in a matter of hours. Conversely, just 10-15 minutes of clean-up can make a huge difference, so this week I'll be doing the dishes and straightening up before bed. Oh, and I think I'll make my bed in the mornings, too, just for good measure.

It would have been useful for me to thoroughly clean the place on this, my free day. That way, I would be inspired to keep it neat and tidy, and my nightly sweep would be light and manageable.

I did no such thing, of course. I was too busy today enjoying the weather, finding my perfect wedding dress (check!), buying adorable pink things for my brand-new, born today niece(!!!!), and rolling my eyes at the Oscars.

The cleaning shall begin…tomorrow!

Are you in?

Happy weekend!

2011-02-25T22:38:00.001-05:00

Lordy, this week has taken its toll on me, and I still have a day of rehearsal left before the Free Day Holy Grail. I think I can, I think I can... Luckily, there's lots to look forward to on Sunday, including my first wedding dress shopping excursion (according to the experts I'm approximately 5 months late on this one—cross your fingers for me, won't you) with The Wise Soprano in tow, and watching the Oscars with My Gay Husband and new friends. Will you be watching?

Some weekendy linky goodness:

Have you checked out Matchbook yet? The second issue comes out next week!

I've been drinking this tea just about every moment I'm at home. Like right now, for example.

I loved this article Nigella Lawson wrote about her kitchen. "If a kitchen is not comfortable nor will you be."

I have babies on the brain even more than usual (hard to imagine, I know), because CM's sister is getting ready to pop (which will make me an AUNT any day now)! My friend Hannah's getting close, too—look at her beautiful belly!

How are you doing according to this marital rating scale? I think I have a pretty good sense of humor (wouldn't you call me "jolly and gay"?), but I'm definitely falling down in the button-sewing and sock-darning departments. And I rarely dress for breakfast.

I love this picture, Models in Windows by Ormond Gigli from 1960, don't you?

Sorry, it's already sold.

Hope your weekend is full of fresh flowers, buttermilk scones, and Oscar night excitement! xoxo LMB

39 Hours in Florence: What We Ate

2011-02-25T22:19:00.000-05:00

I know, it was practically a lifetime ago that we were in Florence, but I can't let that stop me from telling you all the particulars of what we ate, drank, and swooned over while we were there.

First of all, there was the coffee. Last time I was in Italy (2002, that would be) I was not yet a coffee drinker, and I cannot stress enough how much better my experience was this time, for that reason alone. How could an Italian morning possibly be complete without a gorgeous, foamy cappuccino, along with some kind of fluffy, cream-filled pastry? It couldn't, and that's the truth. Where to go? You couldn't do much better than Coronas Cafe, on the Via del Corso between the Duomo and the Piazza della Signoria. We found it by accident, and ended up going back the next day. If you're feeling schmancy and in the mood for animal prints, you could also try the Caffè Giacosa next to the Roberto Cavalli. Just make sure to take your coffee standing up at the bar instead of sitting, to avoid being charged double just for the privilege of a seat.

And then there were the Negronis, mixed to perfection at Sei Divino, conveniently located a block from Arno, on the way home to The New Oregonian's apartment from the middle of town. It's never a good idea to drink on an empty stomach, so you might as well order a platter of cheese and meats that you'll devour greedily because it's all so very good. Is it any surprise that, in our two day there, we became regulars?

Obviously, there was gelato too, perfect (even in February) from Grom. And maybe the best sandwich in recent memory, at 'ino, where every sandwich comes with a glass of wine (just as it should be).

But if I had to pick one meal, the one to remember, it would be dinner at La Giostra, picked by TNO well before we arrived. It's rare that I have felt quite so taken care of at a restaurant. We were greeted with champagne, brought an antipasti plate full of amazing delicacies I would have never known to order, and patiently talked through the finer points of the menu, with translation help from multiple waiters. There was also this amazing ritual with the wine, where it was decanted and swirled within an inch of its life, complete with flourishes only an Italian could pull off successfully.

We started with asparagus soup, velvety and flavorful, with the perfect contrast of crunch croutons.

As ambitious as I am, I can never handle both a primo piatto (first course—usually pasta) AND a secondo piatto (second course—meat), so CM and I decided to share one of each.

First, penne with pears and a gorgonzola cream sauce. Those are pistachios crumbled on top.

Then, osso bucco, so tender we barely needed a knife.

I'm pretty sure I can go ahead and cross Italy off my LMB eats/Europe list, no?

All pictures by CM, obvs.

New Bossy Feature: A Week at a Time

2011-02-20T21:02:00.000-05:00

This past week I did a detoxy cleanse kind of thing and abstained from alcohol, caffeine, and sugar. After a month of all three in excess, I felt like I needed a break, and a week (well, Monday-Saturday) was a nice manageable amount of time (if you ignore the frozen custard I ate last night—just blame it on peer pressure, won't you?). It went well. I learned things.

It gave me an idea: to create a project in which I set a new goal every week and commit to it for six days. It could be an easy way to instill new habits and break old ones, and a way for the seven weeks between now and the next time I see CM to go by more quickly. So, I'll write a post each Sunday, reflecting on the past week's project and announcing the next week's goal. You're invited to join me in any project that sounds interesting and useful to you, or if not, just to encourage and support me from the sidelines. What do you say? Are you in?

I had a revelation this week, as I walked to work past three Starbucks locations (hot chocolate!), Magnolia Bakery (cupcakes!), Alice's Tea Cup (scones!), and Levain (cookies!). My revelation was this: There is a big difference between a craving and a temptation. Despite a month of having cookies and coffee with sugar every single day (seriously), I don't think I experienced a single sugar craving last week. That was a shock, given my well-documented sweet tooth. I was, however, tempted many times, often on my walk to or from work, and sometimes even at work, where coworkers were constantly offering me chocolates, or cupcakes, or donuts. Those temptations quickly passed once I could no longer see the treat, and there was no lingering craving left behind in its place. The moral of this story is, of course, to not keep cookies in the house (and maybe find a different route to get to work). Out of sight, out of mind apparently works for me when it comes to sweets.

I guess this is obvious, but it was a huge realization for me. A craving has always seemed to me to be an innate need that cannot be denied, a monster that, left unfed, will inevitably break out of its cage and binge itself on whatever sweets are nearby. When I reframe that feeling as a temptation, however, it seems fleeting and unimportant, even easy to dismiss.

This might change my life. For a lot longer than six days.

The other big thing I learned in my detox week is that I am not addicted to either caffeine or alcohol, not even a little bit. I never got a caffeine withdrawal headache or uttered the words "I need a drink." And while I certainly saved cash and calories by not drinking, abstaining didn't make me feel significantly better or worse, just a little boring at happy hour. Cutting down on sugar consumption is a change I'd like to make on a more permanent basis, but I think my caffeine and alcohol habits are just fine.

So, for the upcoming week... I'm giving up watching TV and movies at home. I don't watch actual TV, but sites like Hulu and Fastpass make it all too easy to zone out every evening catching up on TV shows on my computer. Often I fritter away my whole night that way. This week I'm going to reclaim my evenings and see what happens.

Care to join me?

Happy weekend!

2011-02-18T22:20:00.000-05:00

So apparently Monday is some kind of holiday? I hope that means you're planning lovely three-day weekends! If only holidays were observed in the opera world. Sigh. I'm working all day tomorrow, having dinner with The Banker, and spending my Sunday off doing fun things like brunching and movie-watching (I'm hoping to see this—it looks awesome). What about you?

The week sort of got away from me, and I didn't do hardly any of the things I had planned, like going through my Florence pictures, and telling you all about our trip, and…umm…posting. I promise to be better next week. Maybe.

Can I make it up to you in link love?

I think we may have picked our honeymoon destination. I'm not giving away the details just yet, but I will tell you that I hope to be driving one of these while we're there. Or maybe one of these.

My friend Erin from college is an amazing photographer. I loved this post where she gave away all her secrets for those incredible newborn shots.

My favorite part of wedding planning so far is trolling ebay and Etsy for special things we need (and many we don't). Some fabulous Etsy shops that have recently caught my eye: Cosas Minimas, Go Jump in the Lake, and Hannah Nunn. What are your favorites?

I saw Jessica Walter in the 59th St subway station yesterday. I took a surreptitious iPhone picture of her and then went home to watch some Arrested Development. Then I found this. Hilarious.

While I'm in New York, if you're missing daily pictures of Wien (and CM's aren't enough for you), I highly recommend Vienna for Beginners.

A big shout-out to Mama and Papa Bossy, who are celebrating their 37th wedding anniversary today! You're an inspiration!

Here's a classic pic of the whole family in younger days:

Hope your weekends are filled with spring-like weather, outdoor cafés, and colorful scarves! xoxo LMB

Home on the Road: Elise Sandell

2011-02-16T21:12:00.005-05:00

Home on the Road is a series in which I interview opera professionals about how they survive their nomadic lives. You can find previous interviews here.

Photo by Johnny Knight

It's my great pleasure to present to you Elise Sandell, stage director, better known in these pages as The New Oregonian. Elise is an incredibly creative, brave director and the person who taught me how to be a good assistant director back when I didn't really know what one did. She is unfailingly positive and sunny, brilliant, and universally loved. It is no surprise that in this interview alone she manages to fit in at least three profound, thought-provoking truths.

Elise has been on the road for nine years straight, and is currently (temporarily) a true homeless nomad, living out of a storage space and suitcases. She has directed and assisted all over the country, and right now she's in the midst of her first international gig, in Florence, Italy (where we were lucky enough to visit her and hear her speaking Italian, which she does frighteningly well).

LMB: Do you have any stuff that you always bring with you when you travel to make your temporary home feel more like a real one? Or any special routines to help you acclimate quickly in a new place?

ES: I like to bring photos of my friends and family and a few treasured knickknacks to make my place more cozy. Sadly, I didn't bring any of these things to Florence, because there wasn't room in the suitcase. I would be lost without my computer. The first thing I like to do when I arrive in a new place is to take a nap, and then go grocery shopping. It always feels much more like home if I know I have cereal and coffee ready for breakfast tomorrow. I really prefer to arrive in a new place around noon, so that I have time to "set up house" and get unpacked in a leisurely manner before I go to bed on the first night. To get to know a new city, I love to get lost in it. One learns much finding one's way back from being lost.

LMB: Since you fly to each job, you're forced to pack light. This is an art I am far from mastering. Any advice from a seasoned traveler?

ES: I used to carry two large suitcases everywhere, and then they started charging for luggage, so I don't do that any more. Here's my system: I have a roll-aboard that is carry-on size. In there go all the shoes, denim, jewelry, books, and anything else heavy that I can think of. Then the lighter clothing can go in the larger checked suitcase. My "personal item" is really a carry-on shoulder bag large enough to fit my laptop, two opera scores, and several books. It's a little bit of a stretch, but no airline has complained yet. (I find that an airline will let you get away with a lot if you ask with a smile on your face.) I always get completely packed, and then force myself to "jettison" five items…I'm fairly skilled at knowing what a 48-pound suitcase feels like. If it's a longer gig, I usually ship a box as well…I should buy stock in UPS, considering how many hundreds I spend every year in shipping.

I'm also often a bike commuter, and once even brought my bike from home to Houston with me. I don't recommend traveling with your bike on the airplane; it's so expensive, and then you have to wrestle it along with your luggage. You'll do much better shipping it through UPS, or, better yet, renting a bike once you arrive.

LMB: You're currently in the midst of your first European gig, working in Florence. How is settling into a temporary home in a foreign country different than what you've experienced before? Are you particularly homesick for any American things or foods?

ES: Settling in here in Florence has felt a little different, for sure. I'm still working hard to be proficient in the language, so even errands like the grocery store and the post office take a little more effort. That said, it's also FUN to get to know a new country and to realize I CAN communicate in another language, even if I'm not always perfect at it. The food is great here in Florence, of course, but I would give anything for a big ol' 20 oz. coffee to take to rehearsal with me. I would probably even buy an American coffee maker, if I could find one. Don't judge. In the meantime, I drink 3 Italian coffees before I show up to rehearsal.

LMB: You first got nicknamed The New Oregonian because you had recently moved to Portland, Oregon, after a long time of having no home base at all. What brought you there, and how has it worked for you as a home base? Is it true you're moving to Chicago soon? What prompted that decision?

ES: Portland, Oregon is an amazing city, and I'm horribly homesick for them, and heartbroken to be moving away. At the time I moved there, I was assisting on two shows a year at Portland Opera, so it looked at the the time like I would get to "work at home" plenty. Additionally, I have many friends in the city, so it was a perfect fit. It works beautifully as a home base when I'm doing shorter engagements. At this time, however, I've taken another full season of work as an assistant at Lyric Opera of Chicago, so I'll be there for many months. I guess you could say I'm making the choice to "settle down" a little bit. I'm 36 years old, and I have never owned a couch, and I would like to own one. I am also hoping not to remain single for the rest of my life, and all the moving around doesn't seem to be helping in that department, either. So I'm moving to Chicago to try living and working in the same place. It's sort of an experiment.

LMB: In order to have the career that you have, you have to be willing to be away from home a lot of the time. What makes it worthwhile for you?

ES: I love making opera. There's VERY little I'd rather be doing. For me, all the traveling is wrapped up with the opera making. (I don't know what this means for my "moving to Chicago" experiment…I guess we'll see.) When the traveling gets tough, I try to remind myself to think of it as an adventure. And when I miss my friends and family, I remind myself to use the resources at hand: phone, e-mail, Skype, and Facebook. The truth is that I'm always far away from someone I love and miss, no matter where I am. I guess I'm lucky to have this many people to love.

LMB: Any other advice you wish someone had given you when you were first starting out? Or advice that you did get that has been helpful to you?

ES: I'm always glad when someone reminds me: "It's not all about you."

Many thanks to Elise! You can find out lots more about her on her website.

Romance

2011-02-14T21:26:00.000-05:00

My new favorite romantic Valentine's Day activity is looking through CameraMan's Florence photos. I highly recommend it.

I don't hold much truck with this particular holiday, but all the same, I sure do miss my valentine.

Sigh.