Hello again

Soooo...you're not going to facebook OR blog now?!? What - are you trying some pioneer lifestyle? ;-p

I got this text from The Wise Soprano a few weeks back, followed by several concerned emails from other friends. So perhaps I should start by saying, everything's fine. Life is good. It turns out that the day I deactivated my Facebook account coincided with the last post I wrote here, almost 2 months ago, but I hadn't actually thought those events were related. Now I'm not so sure.

My 30th birthday, although it was relatively unaccompanied by angst or crisis of any kind, did bring with it a certain amount of stock-taking. 30, that nice big round number, feels like an arrival, time to know who you are and what you're doing. The big things in my life are right where I want them to be: I've just married a man more perfect for me than any I could imagine, my career is going swimmingly, I'm surrounded by a supportive family and the best friends anyone could ask for. I do worry, though, that the day-to-day is passing me by. When I have downtime, I'm more likely to fritter than to make it count, particularly when I'm away from CameraMan, which has been an awfully long time this fall.

I went off of the 'Book as a month-long experiment. I found myself spending an inordinate number of hours checking in on people I didn't feel particularly close to, and I wondered if I would miss it if I quit cold turkey. Turns out, I didn't, not at all, which is why I didn't reactivate my account after the month was up. I wish I could say that I've devoted the extra time I now have to better keeping in touch with the few people I truly care about, but that's still a work in progress.

The not blogging thing is something I don't understand as clearly. I'm struggling with what this blog means. I'm not an expat anymore. I don't have problems I want to escape. I'm thoroughly content living a life that consists mostly of work and CM, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure I have much to say anymore. Work has been hard these past few months, hard and dramatic and in some ways disappointing, but ultimately I've been reminded that I find great satisfaction in my work. And in an attempt to be kinder to myself, I'm telling myself that it's okay if the most I can accomplish on any given day is going to work, trying to do my job really well, and then telling my husband I love him. I'm giving myself permission to let go of self-improvement projects, to read the books I want to read instead of the ones on someone else's list, to stay up late watching episodes of Downton Abbey just because, to write only if there's something I want to say.

Tonight I felt like writing. Tomorrow I might not. Thanks for being here when I do.


  1. Hello again! I'm glad your absence was for good and not for bad.

    I myself took a long blog absence - I hadn't taken any pictures and I didn't feel like I had much to say either - though I have significantly less readers than you.

    I'm glad you're not quitting blogging cold turkey - and that you'll post when you have something to say.

    I'll be here when you do - even if its months inbetween.

    Just glad to know that overall, all is good.

  2. Loved your latest comments about blogging! Whenever you write we'll be there to read it. You're in an entirely new and wonderful time in your life with your darling husband, your work is fascinating and challenging and we're always interested in your thoughts and comments! So all is perfect already! Love you.

  3. Ok, I guess I will put checking your blog back on my to-do list.

    As for my own blog; I never posted anything. Try to beat that...


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