Alison & Keir • October 27, 2001

While we're away on honeymoon (and moving back to Texas), I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
October 27, 2001

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Keir: Apart from how beautiful Alison was, I remember being surprised at how nervous I was right as the ceremony began! After how many hundreds of live performances on stage, I was really nervous all of sudden!

Alison: What I remember most about our wedding day was the car ride from the church to the reception. It was just us, and a precious few minutes where we just sort of basked in the magnitude of what had just happened. That and the dramatic reading of "Love is patient, love is kind" by actor/singer friend Erik Lautier. It was....highly contrasting. Oh, and the Widor Toccata to end the service. I still tear up when I hear it.

What’s your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Keir: It's cliché to say, but open lines of communication are extremely important. I also think it's really important for each person to maintain some facet of life that is individual and independent. We are very much a team, but we each still do a few things that are our own, and I think that is good for both of us' mental health and well being.

Alison: A few things come to mind, some are quite cliché, but ring true to me.
1. Treat "love" as a verb.
2. Be kind.
3. That whole bit about not falling asleep angry is a load of horsesh*t. Sometimes you just need to call it a night, sleep on it, and chances are it won't seem so bad the next day.
4. Accept that you will change and your partner will change. Life will take you in all sorts of directions you don't expect, and that's okay as long as you keep your relationship to each other front and center.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Keir: I wish I had been more aware of the way external stresses, particularly work, can make married life challenging sometimes. I guess I thought work is work, and home is home, but they really do affect one another.

Alison: That relationship dynamics adjust to keep things in balance. As in, both partners can't be: freaking out, depressed, wildly happy, whatever extreme emotion you want, at the same time. The other partner will naturally somewhat counterbalance the extreme. It is important to not take this personally or as a sign of trouble. It is a survival mechanism to help you weather the rough patches of life while still attending to everyday business. Just remember to stay connected, supportive, and loving during the tough times—it will all even out in the end.

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