Happy weekend!

Friends, what are you up to this weekend? We arrived yesterday in Houston and have already been super-busy driving around to look at townhouses, buying up everything Target sells, (window) shopping for furniture, and hitting up our favorite restaurants. This weekend promises more of the same. Tonight I'm taking CM to Hearsay for the first time. We'll sit at the bar drinking cocktails and snacking on small plates. And talking about how CRAZY it is to be back in Houston!

A few links for your weekend:

Today at Crate & Barrel I especially loved this couch and this bed. What do you think?

We bought a Tempurpedic mattress today—I could not be more excited, except that we don't have a bed or a house to put it in yet! Thankfully, we got to take home these fantastic pillows in the meantime. They actually feel cold to the touch! Bliss indeed.

I'm loving this new treasure trove of recipes. Those peaches look amazing, don't they?

Ladies, do you subscribe to the Shopafrolic daily emails? You should. Trust me.

This is what I'll be having for cocktail hour tonight. SO delicious.

Here's a silly picture from our wedding reception that I love. More to come very soon...

Hope your weekend is filled with blue skies, lazy mornings, and some good old-fashioned economy stimulating. xoxo LMB

Becca & Craig • May 27, 2006

On what date did you get married?
May 27, 2006

What do you remember most from your wedding?
It was our happiest day to date. The entire day couldn't have been more perfect—the ceremony, the party, and especially the people. We were overwhelmed by the love and support that surrounded us and were so grateful for everyone who traveled from all corners of the country to be with us. It was amazing to have so many people from so many different parts of our lives gather together in one place. 

Specific memories— We both remember the first time we saw each other that day. Becca remembers the desserts at the reception. Craig remembers the music at the ceremony. Becca remembers how hot it was standing in an unairconditioned church in Philadelphia—Craig doesn't recall this as vividly. Craig remembers Becca falling while dancing the "Cotton Eye Joe"—consequently, she limped her way through the honeymoon. Becca remembers the ice cream cones that were served to cleanse the palate between dinner courses. Craig remembers how hard it was to collect all of the family in one place to take pictures. We both remember our first dance. Craig remembers how happy Becca and her father were during their dance. We both remember the toasts with great fondness. More than anything, we both remember feeling very lucky, grateful, and humbled by the day's events that have continued to provide happy memories.

What's your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Communicate. Share as many dinners together as possible. Find out who does which chores better and stick to that plan. When in doubt, try to laugh. Learn from other happily married couples. When one member of the team is down, it's the other's turn to rally.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Hm m m m m . . . . . . . we can't imagine having all “the answers” without learning things along the way together. To discover these unknowns together is one of the greatest parts of being married. I don't think either of us would want it any other way. 


Elisha & Thomas • February 13, 2000

On what day were you married?
February 13, 2000 

What do you remember most from your wedding?
We got married in Central Park. It was stunningly beautiful, very cold and outrageous.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
This is a very hard question to answer!  That being said, here are a few things that have served us well: Learn how to communicate with each other; remember what's important and matters to you both, individually and as a couple...it tempers the daily grind and can help provide perspective and focus; nurture the relationship and each other; laugh together, often!; build happiness; and work to love, respect, and take care of each other every day.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
This one stumped us both, which I suppose could be taken to mean that there's nothing anyone can tell a person that might properly inform them about marriage beforehand. ;)


Alison & Keir • October 27, 2001

While we're away on honeymoon (and moving back to Texas), I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
October 27, 2001

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Keir: Apart from how beautiful Alison was, I remember being surprised at how nervous I was right as the ceremony began! After how many hundreds of live performances on stage, I was really nervous all of sudden!

Alison: What I remember most about our wedding day was the car ride from the church to the reception. It was just us, and a precious few minutes where we just sort of basked in the magnitude of what had just happened. That and the dramatic reading of "Love is patient, love is kind" by actor/singer friend Erik Lautier. It was....highly contrasting. Oh, and the Widor Toccata to end the service. I still tear up when I hear it.

What’s your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Keir: It's cliché to say, but open lines of communication are extremely important. I also think it's really important for each person to maintain some facet of life that is individual and independent. We are very much a team, but we each still do a few things that are our own, and I think that is good for both of us' mental health and well being.

Alison: A few things come to mind, some are quite cliché, but ring true to me.
1. Treat "love" as a verb.
2. Be kind.
3. That whole bit about not falling asleep angry is a load of horsesh*t. Sometimes you just need to call it a night, sleep on it, and chances are it won't seem so bad the next day.
4. Accept that you will change and your partner will change. Life will take you in all sorts of directions you don't expect, and that's okay as long as you keep your relationship to each other front and center.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Keir: I wish I had been more aware of the way external stresses, particularly work, can make married life challenging sometimes. I guess I thought work is work, and home is home, but they really do affect one another.

Alison: That relationship dynamics adjust to keep things in balance. As in, both partners can't be: freaking out, depressed, wildly happy, whatever extreme emotion you want, at the same time. The other partner will naturally somewhat counterbalance the extreme. It is important to not take this personally or as a sign of trouble. It is a survival mechanism to help you weather the rough patches of life while still attending to everyday business. Just remember to stay connected, supportive, and loving during the tough times—it will all even out in the end.

Happy Weekend!

Hello, dear readers! Are you still here? We got home last night from our honeymoon, and despite it being the most relaxing vacation on record, we're exhausted! It's almost noon, and we're still lounging in bed with our extremely happy cat, catching up on emails and all things internet. Tonight we're going to a Harry Potter double feature (NOT dubbed in German)! I can't wait to fill you in on the details of our wedding, which actually DID turn out to be the happiest day of my life so far, and our fabulous Italian honeymoon. However, I think it's going to have to wait. We leave Europe in exactly FIVE days, and there's so much to be done before we go! I hope you've been enjoying the happy marriage posts, because I have more coming next week.

In the meantime, some links:

While we were in Tuscany, I got inspired to read some Frances Mayes. I'd read Under the Tuscan Sun a long time ago, so this time I started with Bella Tuscany: The Sweet Life in Italy, and now I'm completely hooked! I absolutely adored Every Day in Tuscany: Seasons of an Italian Life (written 20 years after buying the house!), and now I've bought A Year in the World: Journeys of A Passionate Traveller, and I'm trying to ration it out so it lasts. She's such a beautiful and evocative writer. Read her books, and you'll feel like YOU just got home from a honeymoon in Tuscany

Somehow, after 10 days in Italy, we STILL haven't had enough pasta. I'm not sure I could ever get tired of Italian food.  This may not be authentically Italian, but I want some tonight.

The latest series on A Cup of Jo, on juggling work and motherhood, makes for some fascinating and inspiring reading.

These look like the perfect cocktail hour snack. I think I would pair it with a Negroni, while feeling nostalgic for pecorino al forno con miele in the Piazza del Popolo in Montalcino. Sigh.

I've unsubscribed from all the wedding blogs, and feel like replacing them with some design and nesting blogs. Any suggestions of good ones?

We were overjoyed to find a package from Pink Pixel with our wedding photos in the mailbox when we got home last night. I'm looking forward to sharing all my favorites with you, but for now...

Hope your weekend is filled with laughter, reminiscing, and empty to-do lists. xoxo LMB

Jennifer & Roger • November 12, 2000

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
We got married Nov. 12, 2000 in Paris, France....then we did another one in Portland to make sure it was legal and such.  To keep it simple, we celebrate only 1 anniversary.  We just celebrated 10 years—I really can't believe that!

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Jennifer: Dancers throwing flower petals everywhere after the ceremony......tourists stopping to take photos....rain...champagne....it was all magical.  At both ceremonies, the feeling of being surrounded by our friends and lots of love.

Roger: The bells of Notre Dame tolling as we kissed, plus all Jennifer's stuff.

What's your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Roger: To paraphrase Mary Matalin, "is this hill worth dying for?" Remember to keep things simple and don't sweat the small stuff.

Jennifer:  Keep laughing!  Roger and I have loads of fun together....it makes the stressful times much easier to deal with.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Jennifer: Honestly, no—it's a great journey to take together and I appreciate what I've learned about myself and how to be in a relationship. Plus, too much knowing might have scared me away from marriage! 

Roger: Agreed.

Maria & Steve • February 13, 1993

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
February 13, 1993

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Maria: Our photographer told the women that if we held our bouquets down below our waists, we would look thinner. We forgot to pay the guy who played piano for our reception and he came to our apartment that night to get paid. I guess he couldn't wait until Monday. The pastor who officiated was a singer in college and he sang every hymn with incredible gusto. 

Steve: I was expecting one of those Hollywood “speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace” moments. It never came.

What is your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?
Maria: It can be HARD to live with someone else and I think figuring out your daily living is a key to being happy together. Think about it, when you get move in with someone, you’re merging your household with someone who grew up with different expectations, routines and, let’s face it, varying levels of housekeeping standards. Love does not conquer all in the “keeping house” department. Maybe your spouse doesn’t see that the dishwasher needs to be emptied, or perhaps one of you leaves their clothes all over the bedroom floor – the logistics of running a household can generate a lot of marital strife. We can (and should) expect each of us to share in the daily work of living together, but we can’t expect our spouse to live exactly like we do. They’re not going to. So, decide what you’re both willing to let go of – it’s a lot nicer to live with someone if you’re not constantly keeping track of all the stuff that drives you crazy.

And, yes, I leave my clothes all over our bedroom floor—I'm working on it. And Steve is actually pretty good at emptying the dishwasher but he does leave empty cereal boxes on the counter all the time (a habit he easily passed on to our two children).

Steve: Continue to be amazed and entertained by your spouse. Over time it’s easy to become complacent. But, she is most likely the same amazing, entertaining person she once was—plus, she’ll continue to bring new things to the table.

Hold each other up. No matter what. You will appreciate your spouse on a whole new level once they’ve supported you through your personal trials.

Kids (if you have them) are wonderful. They are important. And, stressful. Don’t overlook your relationship when kid stresses take the forefront.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Steve: Maria is right.

Maria: We were nineteen when we got married, still in college, and on the verge of becoming very young parents. We were scared out of our minds (and rightly so). I wish I knew then how happy I am now—that all the work and uncertainty is completely worth it. I absolutely adore Steve and I am amazed by him. I think he is a fantastic partner in life, an excellent father and pretty darn sexy. We're pretty good together. When we got married, I knew all this was possible, but, at the time, I just couldn’t see how we would get there. All the stuff Steve wrote above? It’s true and it works for us.

Steve: See? Maria is right.

Rachel & Mickey • March 17, 2006

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date were you married?
March 17, 2006

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Rachel: I remember being so excited all day and our vows.

Mickey: I was excited to see you in your dress and that our family was there to be part of it.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Rachel: My advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage is to keep a great sense of humor and think of the other person and his needs.

Mickey: Remember to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Remember the bigger picture.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Rachel: One thing that I wish I would have known is that it is not going to be easy on some days and then on other days it is the easiest thing in the world. That ebb and flow was hard for me at first. 


Cindy & Hector • June 28, 1992

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
Sunday, June 28, 1992. Just celebrated our 19th anniversary! Where did that time go?

What do you remember most from from your wedding?
Cindy: Because I was in So. Cal., where we had two major earthquakes that morning (google it!), I remember being worried Hector wouldn’t be able to fly down from San Francisco in time.  Turns out his flight was delayed, but he still got in several hours before the event, which took place in his brother’s back yard.  As for the wedding itself, I remember that since we hadn’t hired a photographer, we put out disposable cameras all around, and people standing all around us in the yard (we were married on the steps of the hot tub gazebo) snapped pictures all through the ceremony from all angles.  I also remember that my brothers cleaned out the lox from the bagel platter before Hector got there, and he was irked about that… I remember that everything went off beautifully, especially considering that we only planned it a few weeks in advance and spend only a couple thousand dollars.  It was a really happy day.  Oh, and the wedding night was also memorable. :)

Hector: Well, I’m STILL irked about the ‘lox incident’ but I guess I should get over it at this point :).  I was covering a show at San Francisco Opera and that weekend was the only ‘open’ time we had for a long while, hence the early morning flight to SoCal.  I was pretty cranky what with lack of sleep and sitting at the gate while the flight took on extra fuel since LAX was shut down due to the quakes.  Altogether a crappy start to what should be a wonderful day.  But that day WAS wonderful! - a special event to share with family and friends, the minister wore cowboy boots (I think I did too…), we ordered platters from the local market and had champagne from Trader Joes.  It was as low-stress as a wedding could be and I couldn’t have asked for a happier day or a more beautiful bride.  We stayed at the Pierpont Inn in Ventura (lovely Craftsman style hotel) that evening then had breakfast with the family the next morning.  I know there were other goings-on that evening but memory fails…

What is your advice for building a happy and successful marriage?
Cindy: While it is great to have separate hobbies and evenings out with friends, try to do most things together.  Just mundane little trips to the store or to work out or whatever.  Keep connected.  This will make you work the little irritating things out before they can really grow.  I think disconnection is one of the most dangerous things a marriage can face.  When you’re working in far-flung cities, talk and share as much as possible.  Of course, the biggest advice is marry someone you LIKE as well as love.

Hector: Every relationship is different and, ultimately, each couple has to find their own particular way; but I think that we’ve found a good balance.  We spend a lot of time laughing - at ourselves, at each other (gently), at the world (crying would be the other option), and at whatever else captures our attention.  We’ve tried very hard not to competitive with each other career-wise – it can be a real relationship killer.  We support each other’s career; celebrating every success and coping with setbacks together.  We were friends before we became a couple, so I agree with Cindy that it’s critical to like each other as well as to love.  It doesn’t hurt that we’re compatible on stage too!

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married? Let me in on it!
Cindy: I can’t really think of anything offhand… I do remember being surprised how differently we were treated as a couple after we were married.  We lived together before, as you have, so I didn’t think it would be so different, but it really was.  Perhaps it was just the vows and my response to them, but in many ways it seemed like people took us more seriously as our own little family, once it was legal.

Hector: Not really – it was more traumatic buying a house together – THAT’S when you find out interesting info, but that’s a different story!  Making the decision to get married is easy – if you take the time to get to know your partner beforehand.  If there’s any little bit of info you’re withholding until you’re married… good luck!

Most of all, from both of us, we wish you a beautiful lifetime together.  You have NO idea where you’ll be in five, ten, or twenty years, but if you’re fortunate, you’ll be there together in good health.

Hannah & Brian • October 10, 2004

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what day did you get married?
October 10, 2004 

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Brian: Being surrounded by people who loved and supported us; a sense of “arrival” as a couple.

Hannah: Having all of the little things come together the way that we had envisioned.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Be honest and open, obviously. Never stop communicating because you can’t actually read each others’ minds. Talk about problems as they arise and not months after the fact. The sooner you air your feelings, the faster the healing time will be.
Keep the big picture in mind. Your relationship is more than the small stuff, so try not to let the little things cloud your view. Your success as a couple doesn’t depend on your ability to fix all of your partner’s quirks and flaws. Remember that you were friends first, and when best friends don’t agree on something, they are still kind to each other.
Hold onto your sense of humor. This is supposed to be fun! 

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married? 
This probably won’t be THE happiest day of your life, especially if you have children, but it’s going to be right up there, so enjoy every minute of it. Spend your money on the good photographer. Eat the delicious food at your reception. Don’t have your reception in your apartment and DO invite your extended family. They may never forgive you, even if you write them personal notes on actual paper, mailed via USPS, explaining your choice, and then invite them to the OTHER huge party you throw the following summer. Well, they may forgive you, but you’ll never hear the end of it.

Caroline & Perryn • July 2, 1993

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date were you married?
July 2, 1993, in Caroline's hometown of Edinburgh, Scotland

What do you remember most from your wedding? 
Caroline: The music really stands out in my mind – we had a wonderful soprano, Catherine Pierard, sing Mozart and Handel while we signed the register and a friend gave us a trumpeter as a wedding present, so we had the full Trumpet Voluntary as we walked down the aisle at the end.
Then the evening reception was a ceilidh, a Scottish barn dance, so there were fiddles and accordions and everyone danced for hours. My bridesmaid and I had put on a dance class for all our English friends who were coming to the wedding—as Scots, we were brought up on these dances—but the only person who didn’t turn up (because he was playing cricket two hundred miles away) was the groom himself! But not knowing the dances didn’t stop him on the day, he danced every one! I think the image of Perryn on our wedding day that will stick with me forever was him on the dance floor, shirt untucked, pouring with sweat, dancing like a maniac. We all had such a good time!

Perryn: What fantastic fun the whole day was – it was the first time my family and friends had met my theater friends and they all got on so well. We had a ceilidh band and we all did Scottish Country Dancing and it was a riot.  Honestly an event that fully lived up and beyond the expectation.

What’s your advice for building a happy and fulfilling marriage? 
Caroline: Love, of course, but underpinned by tolerance, patience and friendship.

Perryn: The best advice I can give is to make sure that you start off with finding the right person. This seems obvious but if the person you are with is your emotional and intellectual equal, you share the same sense of humour and the spark of friendship and attraction is there then it becomes much harder to screw it up!  People talk about working hard at a marriage and by that I think that they mean that you should not take your partner for granted—and that is not easy (but is hardly work!)

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married? 
Caroline: To be honest, looking at our wedding photo now—from eighteen years, three children, four houses, three cities, one continent later—I barely recognize either Perryn or myself. We look so young and excited. I am very glad that no one told us that day what the next eighteen years would bring, I think I would have been frightened witless! I suppose, it’s like having a baby, all the fuss is made of the wedding day/the baby’s birth, but some thought really should have been given to the hard work which comes after. Because holding a marriage together amid all the pressures of careers, money, children, in-laws etc, can be hard work. Of course, it’s great fun too, but can sometimes feels like you are riding a roller-coaster with a blindfold on—you never can tell what exhilarating sheer drop or long hard climb is just round the corner.
But, since my parents are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, we have some solid role models to look to for the next 32 years of our marriage!

Perryn: I don’t care who tells you differently—You can never know on your wedding day that you have found the right person. I never knew how strong we would need to be with the challenges that we have faced, but when we were thrust into a situation that no one could see coming we both had no doubts about how we would deal with those challenges—together and as a team. I guess that means we found the right partner!

Emily & Tom • July 3, 2004

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

From Emily...

On what day were you married?
July 3rd, 2004

What do you remember most from your wedding day?
I know I'm supposed to say “The look on Tommy's face when I walked down the aisle” or “our first dance as a married couple” or something. But really, the thing I will always remember is the dessert table at the reception. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It was an all-you-can-eat endless buffet of cream puffs shaped like swans, chocolate covered fruit, cakes, cannolis, cheesecake, fondue fountains, and more. It was the first time I ever tasted creme brûlée. I packed up a huge to-go box of sweets and ate it for breakfast the next day.
(I just asked Tommy what he remembers most, and he said “I just remember being really busy.” How romantic.)

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
 Yikes. I'm not sure. But I think these things help:
•Fart jokes
•A wiener dog
•Separate checking accounts
•Cold indifference
But really, I think if you respect each other you can build a strong marriage. Love is great, but respect can do wonders. We are one of those annoying couples that have never had a fight. (Oh, we disagree PLENTY, but we never really fight.) I think it is because we respect each other as individuals. We are best friends before anything else. (The items in my list are very helpful as well, though.)

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
We lived together for quite a while before we got married, so we both knew what we were getting into. Bathroom habits and all. (And yet, we still went through with it.) Tommy wishes he had known I wouldn't be a blonde for very long. Good thing he didn't know, or he might have gotten cold feet. Now he is stuck with a brunette. I guess it is a good sign that I can't really think of anything else.

Kathy & Paul • April 5, 1986

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

From Kathy...

On what date did you get married?
April 5, 1986

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Great music, a boiling hot day in the desert, my grandmother hauling one of those ancient early video cameras around, and a long party in a friend's backyard with Paul's band playing. 

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
1. Expect change, welcome it, be brave. "For better or worse" is about the biggest thing you can say. Circumstances will change, you will change. Staying open to and aware of that is important.
2. Words matter, every single one of them. 
3. You should like each other a lot. That seems obvious but I do think it's underestimated!
Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Can I answer "everything"? We didn't know anything when we got married—we were quite young and had the great good fortune to grow up together. Discovering our shared life—that's the marriage. I thought marriage would be a support and consolation to me, which it certainly has been. but that view was unsurprisingly self-centered. I did not realize that it would be the most delightful way to practice living, all the wonderful and terrible parts of it, and to practice steadfastness and courage. Better, worse, sickness, health, richer, poorer—everybody experiences all of that in life, married or not. I'm grateful to have the chance to walk the long road with a partner. It certainly has been way more interesting than anything I could have come up with on my own!

Tonya & Ryan • May 30, 2004

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
We were married May 30, 2004, in Central Park in NYC, it was Memorial Day weekend.

What do you remember most about your wedding?
Ryan: She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Tonya: There are many moments that stand out with our wedding for me. The overall feeling was of celebration. I remember the reception was a ton of fun, though I don't remember many details of the party. I remember my Mom helping me with my dress and her crying about her hair not looking the way she wanted it to. I remember my Grandma and Ryan's Grandma were at the wedding. I remember walking into central park while strangers took my photo and a little girl shouting out "Happy Wedding Day," which is something I now do to anyone I see getting married. I remember that there was an African Drum event going on not too far away and they provided an unexpected sound track to the ceremony. I remember how beautiful my bridesmaids looked. I remember our friend and photographer telling me that some people wearing Monkey masks were hiding up in the tree where our ceremony was going to be held. I thought this was joke, it wasn't. I remember walking towards Ryan and he looked so handsome and so satisfied, pleased that the plans were through and that it was finally time to get married.
When I think about my wedding it was wonderful, beautiful and we had so much fun, and at the time it was the best day of my life. However, now that we have a life together many other days have eclipsed the happiness I felt then and I know that there is more to come. Our wedding was a truly a beginning.

What is your advice for a happy and fulfilling marriage?
Ryan: Talk about EVERYTHING and be gentle with each others feelings. These two things are often opposing forces. 100 percent honesty, for real. Always be faithful, ALWAYS. Sounds obvious, but from the many unhappily married people I know, infidelity is an epidemic. Enjoy each other as often as possible. Grow and evolve together, you will not be the same person tomorrow as you are today, nor 10 years from now, nor 50 years. Neither will your partner. Change is a part of life, and it's certainly a part of marriage. Also, only get married if you really mean it. 

 *Talk to your partner. Make sure that you really want to be with that person before you get married and then talk with them. Talk all the time. Discuss everything, that way when something important comes up you know how they feel and you are in the habit of talking about it first. 
*Have a plan for money, have a plan before you have a wedding. Money can be a real problem for most couples. We don't fight about money because we made a plan for ourselves before we were married and now it's just our way to follow the plan and there are no fights at all. We worry about money sometimes, sure, but it isn't a fight. 
 *Don't lie and don't cheat. Ryan knows I'll never leave him and never cheat and I know he'd never cheat and won't ever leave us either. Now that the worst case scenario is over we can get down to what really matters. Fighting is different with someone that you know wants to spend their whole life with you. I don't hurt him and he doesn't hurt me and then we make up quicker too. 
* When you fight, remember being right isn't as important as being together. 
* Don't spend more time with your families than you can handle. We have a 72-hour rule and it's pretty accurate.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Ryan: Not really. I think the process of learning more about Tonya and myself and our lives has been a great discovery. I think all the things I've learned over the years have been learned at their own time. We were naive and we had a big dream and that's exactly how it was supposed to be.

Tonya: I don't think I have anything I'd tell that girl who married Ryan 7 years ago. Maybe just Enjoy it. Enjoy the party. Enjoy the wedding. Enjoy being young and in love. Kiss often. Love your babies. Don't worry so much. Be there in real time with your whole heart and it will all be worth it. 

Laurel & Hinrich (aka Mama & Papa Bossy) • February 18, 1974

While we're away on honeymoon, I've scheduled a series of posts about happy marriages I know, the ones that inspire me and give me hope. You can read them all here.

On what date did you get married?
Monday, February 18, 1974

What do you remember most from your wedding?
Hinrich: When we got back to our apartment in the evening, we couldn’t get in, because I had given the keys to my mother before the ceremony. We had to get a taxi to my parents’ house—the last bus had gone—and retrieve the keys.

Laurel: This is also what I remember most. We were making jokes about him carrying me over the threshold when we realized he had no key.

What is your advice for a happy and successful marriage?
1) Having and sharing sense of humor. A sense of humor is essential to enjoying life and coping with problems generally and it is even more powerful when you can share it.
2) Being interested in each others’ interests. Not necessarily sharing the same interests from the outset, but choosing to be interested. That way you always have each other to talk to about things that matter to you.

Hinrich: Getting along without trying to remodel each other.

Anything you know now that you wish you had known when you got married?
Laurel: The best part of a relationship is discovering it together.

Hinrich: There probably are things I know now that I didn’t know before, but I don’t wish I had known them before. Knowing everything doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage; willingness to learn and adjust will make the marriage grow.

Happy Wedding Weekend!

So what are you lovely people up to this summer weekend? I was thinking of heading to the top of a hill overlooking Vienna and marrying by best friend surrounded by our loved ones. Then maybe I'll eat a delicious meal holding my husband's hand and delighting in the laughter of our incredible friends. This has been a week to remember, the week of a lifetime, and it all culminates in tomorrow's glorious celebration.

Sunday we hop on an overnight train to Italy, where we'll honeymoon in contented seclusion for the better part of two weeks, after which we'll have five days to pack up our belongings and our cat and fly across the world on a new adventure. I don't plan on spending any time on the computer, so I've put together a little marriage-related content for you while I'm gone. I've asked various happily married couples I know to share with you their memories and insights marriage, and I'll be posting one couple a day for the next few weeks.

When I sat down to plan this project, I was pleasantly surprised by how very many happy marriages I knew right off the top of my head. I'm so pleased to share with you their thoughts, which I have found so moving and inspiring.

Hope your weekend is full of love. xoxo LMB

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

What are you lovely people up to on this 3-day weekend? Barbecues? Strawberry shortcake? Fireworks? For us, of course, it's not so much a holiday weekend as it is the Weekend Before Our Wedding! Our first guest arrived yesterday, and the parents all get in on Sunday (on 3 separate flights—we'll be getting to know the City Airport Train quite well). It's all happening! As of today, CM and I have been together 3 1/2 years. Might as well sign on for life, I say.

Some linky goodness for your weekend:

I can't get enough of these cinemagraphs by Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg. Beautiful.

This is what we're drinking at cocktail hour this week, with the Pimm's CM bought me in London.

Mildly unsuitable for work, this series makes me laugh. I especially like this one, and it's perfect for Canada Day because it stars Nathan Fillion (aka Castle).

I picked up some of this in Paris, and I love it! Thanks for the hot tip, Gwyneth.

The perfect quinoa salad. I like to use double the sweet potato and half the scallions.

Papa Bossy sent me this sweet picture he took of their couch. Isn't it funny? It truly is cat safari at their place.

Hope your weekend is full of fresh berries, family picnics, and sparklers! xoxo LMB


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...