Always look on the bright side

It's been a rough week for no good reason. My work days seem to be filled with frustrating bang your head against the wall moments. I feel like I spend half my life waiting on subway platforms (including today after work when I apparently forgot how to read and got on a train going the wrong direction—oops), and the weather here is truly horrible. Not to mention the 1642 miles between CameraMan and me—I'm feeling every one. I flip flop between wanting to fly home to Houston and wanting to just hole up in my Bronx apartment eating comfort food in my pjs. I'm doing neither. I'm whining instead, but even I'm growing tired of listening to it. There are actually lots of happy-making things in my life. Forthwith, a list:
  • My cute AND practical snow boots. However many ankle-deep puddles I step into (TOO MANY), my feet stay warm and dry.

  • CameraMan's sweet voice on my voicemail. And text messages. And emails. And video chats. Definitely the most important item on this list.

  • Levain cookies warm from the oven.

  • My iPhone playing this month's Bossy Beat Club mix.

  • My Kindle. I'm currently reading a very fun book. It's making me want to write real letters with a pen.

  • Looking forward to Vienna. Reading books, watching travel documentaries, eating weisswurst, studying German, and BUYING OUR PLANE TICKETS!

This is probably a boring post for you readers, but actively thinking about the good things has actually made me feel better. Tomorrow will bring more: clean laundry from the wash and fold, breakfast with the Wise Soprano, another chance to test my memory of 76 choristers who don't wear nametags, and a night in with this movie or this one. Maybe even a real blog post with writing and everything.


Text messages from Wednesday:

Me: I'm so sad about your Abfahrt. I hope we'll talk ab und zu.

Him: I know. It's total Abfall, right?

Me: Die Abenddämmerung won't be the same without you.

Him: Not to mention all the Abendessens.

Me: Don't worry. The distance can't abwischen our love.

I should probably mention that we just got German vocabulary flashcards.

We're on A.

In which my whole life changes

I was never prone to saying Things happen for a reason, or It was meant to be, or bandying about words like fate and serendipity. I've always been a firm believer that you make your own luck, that good things happen because you work for them, etc., etc., blah blah blah.

But everything changed 2 weeks ago, in one instant, and all those words I never used to say are flying out of my mouth with truly alarming frequency.

See, 2 weeks ago CameraMan got an email. An email with a job offer. An offer in my favorite city in the world, the city that took my breath away and healed my broken heart so that I could give it whole to CM. Vienna. So we're going. Of course we're going. We have 6 months to brush up our German, file our paperwork, and purge our belongings, with plenty of time thrown in for jumping up and down screaming about our good fortune.

It feels like capital-F Fate, I'll just say it. After months of debating what our next step was, after I had all but given up on the dream of living in Europe because the dream of living with CM was even more exciting, after we had worked through some tough relationship stuff and found our peace and confidence—this opportunity came at exactly the right time, right when we were ready and open and looking for a sign.

Clearly, it was meant to be.

CameraMan's (less sappy) take is here.

I survived the Great Blizzard of '10

I actually had the audacity to tell CM this morning that I didn't think the snow would much affect me, seeing as I wasn't driving in it, just taking the subway everywhere. I believed it, too. Despite the fact that my winter hat and my snow boots were both conveniently packed in the box that hasn't arrived yet, I left my apartment happily after optimistically putting on makeup and straightening my hair.

Fast forward to 40 minutes later, when I finally arrive at the street corner where I've arranged to meet the Wise Soprano, a street corner, I might add, that is only ONE subway stop away from my apartment. What Google Maps failed to point out to me, however, is that the quick few blocks I had to walk from the subway station involved tromping through a park and climbing 4 flights of snow-covered concrete stairs. By the time I found the WS, my makeup was gone, my feet were freezing, and my hair was as wet as it was when I got out of the shower this morning. Except A WHOLE LOT COLDER. Oh, and I was grumpy. Go figure.

Quesadillas and Mexican Fanta in an extremely authentic restaurant (thank you, Harlem) and gossip and girl talk with the Wise Sop healed the pain mightily. As did a quick trip to Macy's for my new puffy down jacket (with a HOOD) at a drastically reduced sale price. And a glass of wine and soup with a friend. And curling up in the cozy living room in my pjs with DancerMan bringing me tea and orange slices on a tray.

And now here I am, all warm and comfy in my bed, my Kindle patiently waiting for me to finish blogging so I can get back to reading, and I'm feeling like I might never be cold and wet again.

Because surely the snow won't really affect me tomorrow, now that I have my new coat. Right?


It's my first night in New York, and I'm inexplicably homesick all out of proportion. I've been gone less than 12 hours and all I can think about is how much I want to be at home, on the couch with CameraMan, our legs casually entangled under the softest blanket in the world, the cat purring and stretching in the chair next to us, freshly made cocktails and cut cheese with crackers on the coffee table.

After some transitional hiccups that accompanied my return to Houston, we've fallen into an easy rhythm: morning muffin runs and carpools to work and happy hours and low-key gatherings of friends and TiVo marathons. It's a good life we've carved out for ourselves during the times we're together. And, as always, it's hard to say goodbye, even though this time it's only for a few days, since CM is coming for a visit on Friday.

We've been together for over 2 years now (WHAT?!? It's true), and we've never had a Valentine's Day together in one geographic location…until THIS YEAR. We're always pretty casual about it, because who wants to be all sappy with a million "I miss yous" and a lot of feeling sorry for ourselves? (Well, apparently I do—see the preceding paragraphs, hmmm...). But it's a whole different story if we're together. I say let's take advantage of the permission the world is giving us to get all sappy and romantic and maybe even indulge in a little PDA, am I right, people? Except that CM nonchalantly mentioned the other day that he just "wasn't really a Valentine's Day kind of person" as if that was some sort of personality trait, and even though he backtracked quite a bit from that first statement, it's all very up in the air as to what we will do. It is entirely too late to get a dinner reservation at any NYC foodie hotspots, we've already done the Central Park carriage ride thing, it's not a blind date so there's no reason to get the Empire State Building involved, so I think we're going to have to move beyond the clichéd and do something creative.

Help me out here, dear readers. Give me something to look forward to during the 3 looooong days until he arrives.


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