Together, wherever we go

I am one of the lucky few who have a real, honest to goodness, capital letters required Best Friend. We met on the first day of school 9 years ago, and we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.

It was my Best Friend who reassured me when I freaked out because I didn’t recognize the sound my car made driving on snow. It was my Best Friend whose room I wandered into sleepwalking, and who asked me what I was doing, to which I replied “Fine. How are you?” and wandered back out of the room. It was my Best Friend (and my Gay Husband) who sat me down to tell me I was ruining all their pictures with a fake closed-mouth smile. It was my Best Friend who introduced me to such delicacies as squeaky cheese curds, twice-baked potatoes, and a recipe her mother makes called “party chicken,” which consists of chicken wrapped in bacon sitting on a bed of beef.

She is my favorite shopping companion and my favorite travel companion, despite the fact that she always overpacks and has only a tenuous grasp on how to read a city map. We have traveled to England, Germany, the Czech Republic, Austria, Bulgaria, and Italy together, and she has been present for almost every adventure I’ve had in my adult life. She has seen me through many ups and downs in my love life as well, and last summer she rearranged her cross-country move so that she could stand next to me at my wedding. She is the first person I tell my secrets and the first person I look to for reassurance that I’m okay. She is also the only person I know who can match my dessert consumption bite for bite.

We have shared our crushes, our successes, and enough blackmail material to last several lifetimes. Unfortunately, we haven’t shared a zip code in years.

Which is all to say, I miss you, Best Friend. For two people who claim to be inseparable, we’ve been doing this long distance thing for way too long.

Weep not for the memories

We had some good times, you and I. When I think back to when things had just started between us, I still get those giddy butterflies in my stomach. You were so attentive. You knew exactly what I needed, and you were there to provide it at any time of the day or night. We laughed, we cried, you distracted me from the realities of my life. If I had a bad day at work and I needed some comfort, you were waiting for me when I got home to make me laugh. If I was all keyed up after a great rehearsal, you stayed up with me until I fell asleep. I couldn’t stop talking about you; all my friends got tired of hearing me drop your name.

But then you became possessive and jealous. You didn’t like me to go out with my friends. I would ask you to do something for me and just to spite me you would refuse. I started feeling like I couldn’t leave you home alone. You were making me into a homebody. It got difficult for me to even answer the phone while we were together, though your flexibility in that regard had been one of the things I liked so much about you at the beginning. I knew I had to end it one way or another.

I thought our trial separation this summer would be much more difficult than it was. Oh, I heard what you were up to from friends, but it all seemed like such a very long time ago that we were so close. I guess that distance makes it easier for me to say this:

Goodbye, TiVo. You will be missed, but it’s time for me to move on with my life.


If you get tired of reading my blog, read some of these, they're lovely.

Airstream Diva
Chicken Scratch
Greek Tragedy
Hope Dies Last
Houston Grand Opera
Not Yet a Wino
On the Road with This Fish
Petit Hiboux
Sweats in the City
This Fish
Wolf Trap Opera

Getting to know you (me)

I have arbitrarily decided that Tuesday will be List Day here at Little Ms. Bossy. This week we’ll start out easy.

10 Random Things You May or May Not Know About Me:

1. I don’t drink coffee, but I’m addicted to Starbucks (Iced grande nonfat chai, if you’re buying). I also love the whole concept of “getting coffee” with friends. Maybe this is why I get along so well with TripleGrandeBreveCappuccino.

2. I am overfond of singing “One of these things is not like the others” under my breath to friends when it fits the situation. Ditto to making siren noises and saying “This is the fashion police. Please pull over.”

3. Alcohol makes me wittier, more charming, and better at darts. Invite me to your parties. You’ll have fun, I promise.

4. My first kiss was the summer I was 9 at Quaker Camp. Yes, that’s right, Quaker Camp. When my parents came to pick me up, the first thing I said was, “Guess what? I have a boyfriend, and we frenched!” Don’t think I’ve used “french” as a verb since.

5. I change my mind about where I want to live next approximately every 2 weeks. It drives Nathan crazy (not in the good way). I’ve been stuck on Chicago for a while now, with intermittent flights of fancy to Europe and Manhattan.

6. In Bulgaria, where I spent a month in 2003, people nod their heads to mean “No” and shake their heads to mean “Yes.” Very confusing. I realize this isn’t a fact about me at all, but it’s fascinating, right? They also say “fresh as a carrot” instead of “fresh as a daisy.” Crazy foreigners.

7. My very first audition was for Gretl in Sound of Music when I was 4. A 5-year-old with her Equity card beat me out for it. I’ve been bitter ever since.

8. If you hang out with me enough, I will eventually adopt all your unique catchphrases. Possibly your accent, too. I can’t help it.

9. Every car I’ve owned has been German, out of respect for my heritage (and because Germans are better at everything, they just are). I started out with a 1975 Mercedes 500, moved on to a 1989 Audi 90, and have graduated to a 2002 VW Beetle named Frankie.

10. I can’t whistle. Not like I can’t whistle very well, or I can’t whistle on pitch, or I can’t whistle the Queen of the Night’s second aria. I can’t whistle. At all. Many have tried in vain to teach me, but it’s just not happening.

So, folks, suggestions for next week’s list?

A very good place to start

Welcome to the very first posting on my very first blog! In fact, you may very well be the very first visitor (Hi, Mom). Various factors have converged to cause me to take the leap into blogdom, including but not limited to:

  • The continued encouragement of ACB;

  • The month of unemployment stretching in front of me;

  • The desperate hope that writing here will somehow make up for my complete inability to keep in touch with the people I love; and, of course,

  • My self-involved (some might say perverse) desire to share my most inner thoughts, embarrassing moments, and passive aggressive tendencies with you!

It remains to be seen what this blog will be. It might take me a while to find my voice and to decide whether I can stand the sound of it. On the other hand, it might not last more than a week. Starting a blog is more complicated than you might think. Lots of decisions to make. For example, which is less annoying: giving all your friends inside jokey nicknames, or referring to everyone by their initials? I'm leaning toward the former, although if you notice, I've already done the latter once in this post.

Coming soon: What I Did On My Summer Vacation


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